Coffee Drinking 44

Whats new with Au?

I should probably do something more with her skin, though Im not much of a fan of painting skin, as it shows, probably cause I havent figure out… better said, Im not in the mood to check the little details of an hd picture, about, anyone. Ill spare myself that trouble cause I already have too many, though nothing, serious.

I have not much new to show up cause Ive been sucked into normal stuff, and then I need some buffer time to recover the senses, and by then I get into more… plus Ive been playing piano the time I have, I already learned a couple of other songs, zelda lullaby and dire dire docks, but I want to play them right before posting them, and I have to do something about the first song, Oda to Chocolate Cake, cause now I have visions of bunnies and birds, it was so obvious yet I couldnt tell until I was told.

Drawing on the works about a story of a “dream” on the stage, Ive been so lazy about drawing lately, such a shame. The Aurorish smile, could be Aurora and her Mother, Aurora and AuAu, Aurora and the Empress.

In general Ive been doing fine, just so busy and annoyed with work, bird logistics, housework, errands, blabla. Last night the pigeon who was at ICU for like three months died, pox finally reached vital organs and… he was also blind for a couple of days, as pox covered his eyes… I always thought he was going to make it, thought the signs were most obvious. Au is not afraid of pox, neither Mr Pio Pii, he and his sister Lady Pii had pox on their ears when young. I kind of miss him, his place empty by the bed, though he was already suffering.

A couple escaped, another two released, and now the hospital has the total of 6, much more manageable. Those who could fly were extremely annoyed about being locked, one I recaptured and released later, sadly I havent seen the two who escaped in a few days, but, by now, if they dont like me, so be it. That one was “Auroro” with the Aurora virus (half crippled body, yet she could fly), who turned out to be “Aurorina”, she actually made eggs.

Ive encountered difficulties bringing grain, therefore Ive been focusing on corn powder, but they got sick of it so now I add a banana and some sugar to the mix, they liked it very much. Sometimes orange juice, sometimes whatever fruity I can get my hands on or purchase. Their numbers remain low, so things go easier, which is needed.

I still feed the little birds early in the morning and at the “Stay Late Club” before they go, unless I have work or something. The grackles are practically gone, now they harass some dumb dogs to steal their food at the a corner half a block from here.

The tree outside still remains,  gladly will only be trimmed. No bird lives there, so I dont worry much.

Back to work… aahgggg… Im already late, and I havent rest all day.

I promise I will upload a 96 version without the radio announcement.

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Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee

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Oda to Chocolate Cake

 

 

The first song is made :D

I still need to practice more so I can play it properly, but Im so glad to have it made.

Im thinking of just ridiculous names, and I also want to make a song for each story, it is a big challenge but it is something I wanted to do since the very beginning, so I am excited, before I only had some apps that, meeeh, now I can play :D virtual, but still, such a great feeling.

Oda is ode in spanish, Ill be playing for the glory of this and that.

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Coffee Drinking 43

Seems like WP really wants to get rid of the classic editor, yet you can go back to classic, while they let it happen… just write the title, save the draft, go to All Posts in the Dashboard, select classic editor, and back to good old stuff. That on pc of course, and if you excuse me, Ill try to catch a very small young pigeon, put him in a side hospital and feed him for a week or so, until he grows bigger and stronger… still eating, I wonder what his fate will be, I already had one like that in the hospital called “chiquitin” but eventually moved away, never to be seen again by me, thats how it is.

Normally I put them together in the hospital, I dont have that much space, but theres a lot of birds with twisted neck virus or its very rare variant the Aurora virus (crippled half body). When they get too sick, they become deluded and aggressive, cant fly straight, I have only seen one completely recover, actually Im seeing her… ah, the little one fled, well, thats destiny, the hospital is full anyway, and nobody is going anywhere, I have a bird in intensive care that has been for like two months, its like nature really wants him dead yet I do not let go.

Storytelling is going back to normal, yeeeey, also life is going back to normal, hopefully.

Yet I learned a lot from this process, and how I need to let my bitterness wash away, the missing key of me being natural doing what I do, I have realized, the thing is, I am very “arty” about my stuff, but everything else, I am consumed by the struggle of the day, a normal artist sees shapes and colors in his daily living, I, I dont, I fight, I have to deal with a bunch of this and that, yet it becomes an excuse, it shouldnt be that way, so I need to be more “arty” about the day, even if I feel repulsed by it, it seems to me that it leads to a path of joy anyway.

And also, I was thinking of buying a piano keyboard, but the decent ones… I already spent too much, and the birds keep eating my money, plus, its kind of ridiculous, having such a good computer… its actually budget… virtual piano, I know its not the same but Im happy with, since this morning… of course they want money but with the free stuff you have it all, it seems, and it keeps the notes in text, really useful, I already made a very basic little intro-ending of a song.

Drawing in the making, for the new one chapter story, probably the last of the Reptile Queen.

Music is great to express your depression, and I have endless tons of that, so this new project seems will be a success. playing live is a bit of a challenge, with practice to overcome.

Maybe one day Ill end up playing like this :D

++++++++++

Lets feed the little brown birds too!

The Hospital is full but happy.

Buy me a Coffee

++++++++++

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Hamster

I think this makes such a great story, cage-breakthrough-night, which could be told with oppression-mania-emptiness. Im thinking of a new story, which I need for whats next, about a character going through this process, with an unbalanced mind, overlydramatic, being scared and in rage at the mere sight of pain.

MichaelAitken

When you’re spinning round
Just spinning round
In your wheel
The earth and the sky
Become one grey blur

When you’re spinning around
In your treadmill
You have no time
To stop and look

You work so, so hard
In your little treadmill
Forgetful of the cage
That you live in

Until when a red sunset
Sat above the mountains
Its swords were dipped ion blood
It cut through the bars of your cage
And you ran off into the night alive

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Irresistible Littleness

Lovely Bird bathing in the light rain.

lemongrass

A tiny bird sitting on a leafless branch ruffling her wings while it is raining.
Original Digital Watercolour

Drops of rain glistened here and there,
Clinging from the feathers persistently.
Perched on a leafless tree, a single sparrow,
Trembled slightly, softly ruffling its wings.
The silhouetted little being, barely tangible,
A tiny speck against the wide overcast backdrop.

City noises murmured incoherently,
Cars honked impatiently stuck in the traffic.
In the evening mist of red and yellow splashes,
Strangers hurried across the road, jostling one another.
Streets dissolved under the rhythmic stomping of their feet.
Like a cluster of ants, people with umbrellas dotted the town.
Living their short eventful lives, unknown to the one beside.
Such insignificant and transient existences.

Amid the chaos of puddles and bustling pavements,
Children played with marbles at the corner.
Letting escape sudden shrieks of pure delight,
Oblivious to their surroundings, they bounded in glee.
Unbothered by the stench of sewage drains behind them,
Ignoring the blank faces of…

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Coffee Drinking 42

Sure has been a while, and I long for the normality of old, I miss to write and I miss to draw, but now I do realize that bitterness slowly built up before the break.

Thats one of the drawings of the first story. the hair looks fine but I should probably improve it with one of the new techniques, and maybe something coming from the dark cloud, like the “spiral of puke” effect:

Its been like a month, even WP wants to get rid of the classic editor I refuse to abandon, changes here and there, even new keyboard and mouse, but things are going well, with the birds too, I do get some time but Im too busy and tired after a ton of housework, then normal work, then pigeon hospital duty, and by then I lost my mood to do anything.

Unrelated drawing, or maybe nor, thats a long story… which reminds me that I finally thought of a couple of much needed new side stories for the next part, though I need to remove the bitterness and add some other elements.

I really hope you enjoy the drawings, cause I dont have anything interesting to write about, I am so dry. And I did try to be casual and write like “normal” people do, then failed, cause there is no drive to do so, and you probably wont like me casual cause I dont roll with fashion, hey, it would probably be bothersome because of misunderstandings of this and that, when Im not anything at all, I am just me, grown in the wild and with the teachings of me mother.

For example, it has always called my attention how this autistic dictator ended up being so, and Im not talking about Augustus, much much later… “he studied people so much yet you never see him among any”, how the hell did he end up there?! if I could ask him one thing it would be that, not the invasions fueled at the sight of your own obsolescence, not the lack of new deals because of the rebirth of old systems, not if he could tell about the stench of the most obnoxious greedy people around him, not about the destruction of the welfare class he once was part of, not about the long and detailed studies that manage to hit the low and hidden nerves of society, nooo, if I had one question, it would be “how did you end there?! whats wrong with you?!” well, I do know the answer, the great war was so terrible that it changed the position of the stars. If I was alive back then and there, I would go to the woods and “let go” on life, its not worth it with guns of all kinds and sides on your head. “But you cant go there, theres gonna be an artillery battle”, fantastic.

You see, I classify autism as the “lack of an antenna on the forehead, same that roots and grows from instinct”. Said antenna connects to the “psychic net”, creating the “sheep” effect, so “you dont feel lonely, you feel safe, you are part of something, life has meaning”, youd think it is liberating as you get tired of the hordes endless repetition, but then you have to face something, life has no meaning, only the one you can create.

If youre rich and strong, that problem is half solved, as you make deals with money and people comply, you leave the noisy signals behind, but when you dont have it, which is the case of most… reminds me of the very few videos Ive seen of autistic girls in interviews or so, at some point, they make such a suffering face, like actors in a broken scene, its just… I have to go, I must prepare the hospital birds and the early breakfast eaters, cause the large tree in front of the house uprooted and they will remove it, so, sooooo sad… there was a terrible icestorm last week.

Ah, feels good to post again, Ill try more often until I can go back to make the stories.

++++++++++

Lets feed the little brown birds too!

The Hospital is full but happy.

Buy me a Coffee

++++++++++

 

 

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Coffee Drinking 41

A short post today about story making, and this will go in the “Two Eggs” story, talking about the past.

First you get “Dream” nearly going into nightmare because of depression. In the quiet and stillness of sleep, you can finally remember, about this, and that.

On my files it is called “No Michi”, no road, and the character of that story is homeless too, so…  really, no where to actually go, this is the struggle of the day, the neverending endurance of survival, in a, romantic way, well, there is nowhere to go.

And then night comes with the magic of what is not, maybe an effect of darkness on the heavily sight oriented mind. You see, so you believe, and then hope that hopefully lasts through the sunny day.

The cycle of Dream-Day-Night, and again, and again. Its a bit more complex in the Two Eggs story, like there is more to the “magic of darkeness”, as Dream comes with bursts of amnesia, at some point during deep sleep, the world ends and renews, every single day.

Thats the main reason the core personality is divided in past and present, the modern one builds continuity again.

And thats an example of how I build a story.

++++++++++

Lets feed the little brown birds too!

The Hospital is full but happy.

Buy me a Coffee

++++++++++

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Coffee Drinking 40

Whats new with Au now?

I had a toooon of work last week, Im still tired, I thought of saying “no” but then I remembered all the expenses from the new computer… and then I forgot that an ssd disk I have had errors and installed on that… funny thing, you can use the same old one, it will just update the drivers, blabla… and then if you get a full upgrade of windows cause its that time of the year, better.

Theres no way Im getting that amount of work next week, or again, so Ill try to do something… though next week is gonna get busy with the breast cancer someone I live with has, she hasnt told until she gets the results… and yesterday it was raining and I dumbly slipped down the stairs, luckily I was able to turn on my left side instead of falling on the spine. And today a tooon of housework… tomorrow I will buy some more bird food, cause it is never enough, though now I have low numbers (which I plan to keep) cause theyre eating someplace else, giving me some so necessary breath.

Anyway, Im also stuck at the new stories, which the normal answer is to make it simple and move on. In my mind I keep developing a lot of things, but about works, I am too tired right now, and I was thinking, if I wasnt so, dedicated to my interests, what would I write-draw about?

It feels like a repulsive question to me, “what would you be if you werent you?”, specially without an antenna on the forehead, what would I do?

The challenge, the development of techniques, the reproduction of forms of life, it is all very interesting, but without my desires, what would I do?

Landscapes? birds? animals? yeah, its very cool, but really? it feels, kind of empty.

I guess I could learn from Van Gogh, but then, you know, the suicidal stuff…

Mother, once she had it made, she slept like a lion all day, she couldnt care less and I admire her greatly for it; Father, was as confused as I am. My Cousin was like my Mother, which explains, certain, things…

“What would I do?” I actually came to that question in a complicated process, I was remembering this story:

And, this happens in a “mirror” neighbourhood next to where I live now. Its called “Core to Illusions”, in a game of names with other two stories, the casual name would be “The Last Chance Before the Long Slumber”, Aurora wakes up from her amnesia still at young age, and I gave her some “magic” so things dont get violent and such.

Im in love with that story, so I always want to visit the places, I know it is empty, there is not much to do and there is no magic… its something I always knew, and thats the reason I havent take the time to visit, when I think about it coldly, it is a very depressive thought.

So “what would I do?”

 

++++++++++

Lets feed the little brown birds too!

The Hospital is full but happy.

Buy me a Coffee

++++++++++

 

 

 

 

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Sunny Rainclouds

And for all the birds at the intensive care unit!! (currently: 1)

MichaelAitken

We’ve got
sunny rainclouds
in our hearts
Our hearts
are a cerulean blue
We’ve got
sunny rainclouds
in our hearts
Accepted
Nothing we can do

You might need
a bit of rain
on a sunny day
You might need
the sun to shine
thru the rain

May I recommend to you
sunny rainclouds
sunny rainclouds
of cerulean blue

I met a shadow
In a corner
I said
Shadow, how are you
He said
That he has depression
He wants some sunny rain
In cerulean blue

I met
A ghost
In the desert
I said
Well
How do you do?
He said
It’s too hot
Where he’s going
He wanted
Some sunny rainclouds
Of cerulean blue

sunny raincloud

for Katy Claire

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Coffee Drinking 39

Whats new with Au?

Besides a lot of that… Operation “new computer” was a success!! and Im pretty happy about the results.

The pigeon hospital is so full, I have 9, and Im hand feeding peanut butter again. I bought 100kg the other day, plus 30 before… I have become kind of a hoarder, though after the lockdowns and situations… its kind of justified, I might go today to buy another 13, if I have the chance.

Nah, Im paying for it all.

Goodbye savings… nah, just a third :(  Im already running a “war economy” plan, though I dont really mind, the computer is like an oxygen tank to me.

Well, I got a lot of work lately, and a good client that pays better, if she lasts for a while and the other remains, I think i can recover something.

Im gonna go “casual” the next days, posting whatever, because someone I live with got breast cancer… changes, changes… I expect things to go well.

Ive been shaping in my mind the “Little Commander” story, for example, how the leader of the goofy front, the soldier Ceran, becomes a general at the end (“she can go suck it” being able to say that is my promotion -she is not very fond of the war effort, though recognizes the situation), a general like her mirror personality of the past, so I think the story may start with her, she is the one doing the actual battle until because of illness fails, then Dark Reo (a new shell) of tactical operations is in charge and succeeds. Because he is new and full of questions, he is taught around by the others, so you get to see what the other characters mind about.

So if youve been reading for a while, you may notice how what happened to Aurora in her youth days, happens in the future as well, Core (Auroras) -Second Personality (LostBoy, Detective, Teacher from the past, Ceran in the present) – Shell (Reo, Dark Reo).

The new side stories “Candy Colors”, I still dont know how to shape it, and Im kind of clueless. This is an in the making drawing of the Chief of the Audit Imperial Department, from the Reptile Kingdom, theres only one chapter of her, bitching about the Queen and getting caught.

Back to normal life, theres a bunch of stuff to do this morning :I

++++++++++

Lets feed the little brown birds too!

The Hospital is full but happy.

Buy me a Coffee

++++++++++

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