The first idea for the last chapter was to be a come back one, which was the cause of so many problems, because it basically made no sense and me forcing on it again and again.
In the proper structure it should have, and has now, first she start explaining to the shell about who she cares about, and how theyre family first than anything else.
Then she talks about “coming back”, she wants to just ignore everything and go back to a certain point of her life, but she obviously cant, she must accept what has happened, and the problems that lay ahead, so she does, she takes the shell to her travels.
I dont want to overexplain, so next, Nightmare of a Cold Night, which is still cooking in general, Im thinking of an evil new character, but, meh, “evil” is so boring, its self destruction and dependance, those characters lead nowhere interesting, nah, that idea is gone.
The other idea was a time-space travel with the blonde woman, lets see if I can make it happen.
I do can think of a ((system)) screwing my pages for just writing “evil is boring”, thats very nightmerish and annoying, can you imagine? boooring.
While Im still very busy doing lots of work, which is good cause Im still buying stuff, Its annoying having to pause at such a great storytelling time for me, but I do go with the fat-thin cows mindset, so I rather take advantage without complaining too much.
On the other side, a little bit of a, what you could call, internal dialog, cause its not just writing and drawing, I have no interest in, how to say it without sounding rude, well, Im not in the crowd, so, yet it is not only about me, its a very complex process that involves many things, which is the same reason that keeps me going, the result is so great.
By now I go through the whole process very easily, but in the mind theres always the wish, for example, with the latest happy what if story that Im about to finish, in my storytelling mind, since Im taking too long, Im already cooking the next story, but hey, it is happy, why, why dont you, why dont you take it to the main story?
I do a lot about myself, doing that means, well, between hope and temptation, freezing from taking the path Ive been building for many years, leaving behind your own sacrifice and work in the search of a miracle.
And about the next story, I was thinking of making it with a bit of these and that, but now that I have had plenty of time to think about, Im tempted to do it, really nightmerish, mmm, lets see what happens, I still need to find a whole sense into it, which will probably be what Im talking about in here, about “the happy story”.
For now, the start is with certain protagonist and her father, buying certain actress beach house, then everything backfires, kinda funny. Later she and the blonde woman reunite, in a very psychological, kinda sour, interaction, which leads to the full nightmare.
I bought another backup drawing tablet, cause I found them very cheap, I plan on drawing and drawing and drawing, once what I do to buy them calms down.
Theres no fuel to do that…
Ohh, but those days are gone, and I wasnt doing that for money…
Nightmare of a cold night, I thought when it was cold, ahggg, its been like half a year!
I did something this week though.
My little princess, I dont even dare to draw it, cause it can always “be better”, but, you just have to throw yourself to stuff, and whatever happens, you go.
“Didnt you just talk about holding it? you psycho…”
Its not really about the door itself, if they have it, something related to its weirdness must be going on, hidden in a “its just a door” trap.
Sure has been a while, and it is a very comfortable place to stay, right before the last chapter of this story, but I do want to move forward, you must always, move forward.
Ive been having lots of work, which is good cause I bought some stuff too, taking care of those two consumes too much time, but mainly, cause I could still find a way, its the damn heat wave!!!!!
Im more resilient over the years, yet it kills my mood so quickly, also this and that, blabla, I really want to focus on the real work now, but I dont want to rush this last chapter, it is so special to me, this is the last drawing, the first is already done.
The princess came back home, after a long, long, such a long time.
“…brother and I am your beloved sister, I shouldnt forget, how could I forget? maybe because the thought of that, somehow in some reality, being true, it creeps me out so much, because I know its a lie, I perfectly know that… that… yes, that… that!… hahaha… ha…”
There was a brother who was never born, thats what she is talking about, the difference between two personalities created along the circumstances, Core and Shell, and two other people, real brother and sister, which creeps her too much, because most of her personality is being mothers little daughter, and having an older brother, it would have been, so disturbing to her current self.
and yeah, school is such a bad idea…
Sweet chocolate ice cream, you would think with in this heat wave I would be a fat cow after a thousand of them, but electronics have taken over, I just eat “whatever” and save for those, and pigeon food.
These places are real, highly romanticized, but more that, it is where they played and had fun, it is all about, happiness.
Part of her not leaving right away was because she was waiting for him, even after the “magical” letter of him saying byebye I died, then she solves all current issues, she realizes, he is not coming as he promised, and that, it is time to leave.
I am sorry, Ive been bitter, Im just nervous, about leaving.
Leaving where? to the rest of her inheritance? not at all…
“what if I were to tell you, that another girl can be here with us?… eh?…”
oh, so her cousin is just “like” her, thats answers a lot… shhhh, thats a secret! hehehe.
This is a happy story, Core to Illusions, because she gets continue her life, continue where she left, the search for her, and finds, which is a constant theme in all stories, in the main one she cant, she realizes it means the end and a failure, so she keeps the bubble, on and on, meh, lets have some fun in borrowed time.
Ive been also working on the new and next story “Nightmare of a Cold Night” Im sad to leave this story but, its gonna be such fun.
Its the shell, its the shell and just the shell that has the so called “certain (((medical))) condition”… cant get away with that now.
But thats wrong, cause it is not about that at all, you would be so wrong.
He had to wear a hat too.
Whats with the eyes? theres nothing inside, just a shell, oh, you mean Aurora, well, thats kind of obvious.
Funnily enough, theres great attachment to these places, but its not about there either, I would have finished writing this story at the first chapter and would be so ridiculously boring, theres nothing going on these places, at all, its only the emotions and the love for the playground, such high romanticism, why?
“And I will tell you of how we played
Then, walking on the sad notes of a common day
We will talk about it, happiness.”
Im so lazy to draw a map, and its too hot to hang around, buuut, the online maps are so wonderful, such joy.
He does look like him, or maybe just my twisted imagination.
He was going to have a yellow beak, but with what happens later, better not to give the wrong idea, so rare that I actually care.
The story ends here, just when the good part was starting, but hey, maybe in the next round a couple of years from now, I can build up some hormonal level for it to continue, wouldnt count on that.
Now that I think off, I missed a key element, she has a couple of kids, also in the Satellite story and a bunch of other times when its an image of the Actress, mixed with this and that, not even in the Au had a Farm new story, I cant give them a shape, I cant extract a spirit, a driving force to create those characters and their reflection in that universe, and Im not antikids, being honest, I just think theyre so booooring, probably because of the things I could do as a kid, and they dont, for natural normal reasons.
Lately Ive been so attached to continue, mostly to drawing, which is great. The whole drawing for spare change is in the freezer, sure is easy to say, Ill draw some tourist spot for people to like, so trendy, but theres no passion, just a whole, I cant bring myself to make them.
Ill leave it as plan b for when the computer classes die, though I’m not buying stuff anymore, time to save the fat cows, if you can call them fat, lets see how long they last.
Dont you have an answer for that problem already?
nah thats plan d, plan c is to stop breathing.
Next comes Core to Illusions, Ill let you figure out what it is about.
And I finally reached the Middle School Girl Aurora story, its such a blast but Ive taken some time cause Ive been fixing personal stuff around, and also some dust cleaning.
Theres also a beta project, something like “drawings for spare change”, for pigeon food, but I think Im gonna hit the local market instead, its all about social relations. If I ever do it, lets hope I wont need to, cause damn, I get bitter, you wont get to read it but I just wrote a bunch of cursing for this post, then of course deleted it, you must remain strong and move on, theres no point in getting angry, no use, isnt it? “what are you going to do with your, emotions?”
Which is something that I love about this Aurora, the full rush and fall, then the fast way back while accepting reality.
Yeeeey, food, finally.
An example of how “complicated” she is, during the breakfast “date”, how easy is just saying -Im hungry, can I have some?- but that doesnt really make sense, yes, even the food must make sense.
And such a sour relationship, which I find it funny, cause the Blonde Woman was way more irresponsible, yet they got along so well.
You can always trust that face…
I decided to turn him into a joke in the drawings.
Cuuuute.
Theres also a new story with the real her and cousin, a very funny one with “babies, babies, I have babies”, and something like “Auntie Au had a farm…”.
The rest of the schoolgirl story is as sexual as I get, I love the dialogs and setting, but I cant do it more often, theres no fuel to drive.
And this is the final of the Shell stories, in Core, so far, youll get to see “the greatest empire ever built”, which is Aurora waking up in the Reo early days and fixing everything around, its so, very romantic.
What seems to be a single story has a lot going on behind, Middle School Girl Aurora is the present core taking over the shell, in a very what-if situation.
In Business Partner, its more about her father and playing around with stuff, including a “happy” ending.
In Driving Partner, you have the shell becoming “addicted” in a relation where he is dominant. He is not that wrong, it is the end of the line, there is no present day Aurora and he takes care of that, problem is what is called “timebomb”, the core has enough and ends the shell by destroying the body.
In the main story there was a warning and action…
but the shell actually did well in the end, the reason? because of the core actually waking up, thats Dark Cloud Aurora.
It had been so long, and everything is different, the old injuries are there, so the core divides in two, past and present, the past goes back to sleep and the present tries to wake up, thats the whole Little Wolf process.
The present core assimilates the shell and “wakes up”, but she has a timebomb of her own, the, what you can call, “Delusion of the Actress”, the endless search for her cousin.
And based on that, this story is going on, which I really like, the full swing of craziness, but also the very fast correction when things go to the deep end, then she has to take care of her own life, as help never really came.
“Dont you know, you have to do everything yourself”.
It sounds bitter but its not, dont wait, get things done, its not even about death, one day youll be old and wont be able to do half of the things you could do in the past.
In the fifth chapter you have them making a deal, in how they were going to be together, solve their problems together and live their lives, also together, a pretty daring idea of her that became a reality later.
And with that the storyteller created a shell that could get along her fathers lifestyle, the obvious question is, why wasnt he there? but with him there, no reason for the shell to exist.
nobody died? a happy ending? “your shrink must be proud”
Well, thank you, not for long though.
Muchuuuuu, desu.
Then we move to the next story, in the brewing of the new what-if shell, we have an Actrish image teasing him around, until the boiling point reaches…
To wake up as this Reo version that is in a relationship with his highschool girlfriend.
Big breast, I mean, big eyes, I mean, with the elements that could bring them together.
Shes pretty normalish, but also cute and fun, with some money and he pretending to be normal, things can get along.
Well, almost.
For the core he is like a puppy, but for other people, normal people, its too much aggressive. In this story, he could calm down and they eventually got together.
Someone has to drive.
And wear pretty dresses.
And finally the harsh reality, the core does not love her, yet the shell explains, there is nothing else, this is the end of the line, and she loves us, at least the image of us.
But she is not having it, and just as promised at the Intro of Happiness of Marionette, the Core ends the Shell.
You should know by now, that even if I try, I cant. Another difficulty presents when ideas burst by the push of a hormonal rush, which are rare in me, so to reproduce it across the days and to continue developing the story, yeah, not gonna happen, theres not much to do when the chemical fuel isnt there.
In the first chapter you have the premise of the story and why of its existence, current Au has a bunch of daddy issues, Au style, as she realizes that she could solve most of her problems by just being like her father, yet rejects again and again, it implies that she likes being more like her mother, which would actually solve those problems way faster, what goes into the shadows is that she has to be, herself, not a copy of them.
You have emotions coming and going form Aurora about her father, its so bittersweet, he would say, oh, so great if you were like this…
sorry, sorry, like this:
and she would say, it would be, so amazing, if you were like this…
Kind of the same happened with her mother, but theres a big difference, they were a couple in a long informal secret relationship, this is father and daughter, the link is there, youre not going anywhere, or as mother Aurora would laughingly say “thats your problem, not mine”.
“What costume shall the poor girl wear?” Shell to Illusions.
In chapter two starts the lovely relationship between two business students, he is a Reoish full personality, with father dominant genes. She, is a combination of many, I guess, cuteness around. While he is already half way to succeed in his career and such, she, in her mind, is struggling to make it happen in the future, she doesnt have the connections and experience. (Uh, not on purpose, she is making one, him).
Oh, but I let him a “curse”, to be, interesting, I need something to relate, otherwise I wouldnt care, Im not a business person, I feed pigeons thinking about ducks instead.
And thats Apathy, of course was what the whatever doctor told them he had, you know how much they battle, or better said dont apply themselves as much as (they) cannot exploit, to come up with even terms for something that goes on and has since ever.
I dont need to tell you about the sour side of business, but theres also the sweet side, to make stuff actually happen.
And not to make things longer, at the fourth chapter she decided to stay, though its just the beginning.
I dont know if this story will be long, I was thinking of the ending, then the abusive Reo story, and to finish with School Girl Au, then Core to Illusions, instead of our lovely character here, you have the Core dealing with a young Reo, in the main story, a would be the Core awakes at a younger Reo age.
Nightmare of Cold Night is an “I dont love you anymore” story, and Snowdrop is a broken twisted Reo. Aaand theres many others too, so much work to do, gladly, it would be so boring otherwise, and senseless, and dull, lifeless, apathy.
What are you gonna say in three thousand years? did you have any fun? was it worth living? are you beliefs completely obsolete? do you have any strength or skills to be on your own? cause theyre all gonna be dead, all your servants and slaves, yourself, all the people that used you, and you back as well, aaaaall dead, can you look to the past with a smile? whats left of everything you did? you see, these stories, for me are like genes, thats why theyre so worth to make.
-Im not even talking about taking advantage, you have to, you must think as a storyteller person.
-Sounds, tricky.
-In your mind, it organizes things very quickly, how do you want to live your life and take decisions.
A feminist comes from the Actress, a business person comes from her Father, a storyteller comes from Aurora, yaaaaa, what to be???!
Ahgg, what I dont like about these story notes, is that my brain sticks with certain words, if I try to write it all at once, damn, its annoying.
Theres gonna be a bunch of new stories for Snow Paranoia Vacation called Shell to Illusions and Core to Illusions, each I and II, maybe III but most likely moving on to other new ones or adapting the trail for the already made.
In the first chapter of those, well have the main characters as witches playing around a cauldron, in the first Shell a Jeff Jr will be made, in a romantic rich young adults sophisticated story. (The girl will be actually blonde, so far, and yes, theres gonna be sex).
Core I will be the same but with a, emh, girl, Jeff Jr. (She is a girl, but not Aurorish)
In Shell II well spice things up and will be and abusive story with the same setting,
I dont think it will go far, so the witches change it again into the first part of the Middle School Girl Aurora story, then that goes on as Core II.
With the lovely Actressish-Cousinish Teacher, and an obsession that turns into a real relation.
In short words, theres gonna be some “craziness” vacation, hehehe.
Though not for long, theres Snowdrop, which is told backwards, with a broken evil Reo and a practically dead Core; The original Puzzle story, with an abused runaway girl later becoming the center of a cult; And finally Nostalgia Flowers, with the last days of the Reo personality. Among other short stories.
So, theres a loooot of work to do, starting from zero for the new, I guess its gonna take a while.
