History Time 06

“Today is the perfect day to go back into arts” :D

But today I got sick, flu sick, because yesterday it rained on me as I went for bird food at the nearby vegetable market… Mr bunny likes lettuce the most, and he bites, bites, bites… it wasnt even much, the hard rain and dark clouds were elsewhere, yet I was called to do some computer stuff, and I didnt change clothes… now you know, you do get sick of that.

So Ive been sick all day, very uncomfortable, I cant sleep, its too late, I wont get enough sleep, and its too annoying, wont let me draw, then I remembered about this post by now I forgot to make.

Ahhhhggg, its hot and I cant turn the ventilator on :S

At least the storms stopped, daily for like a couple of weeks, heavy storms everyday.

Ohhhh, I am so sad to announce, that she died a couple of days ago:

It was a matter of time, she was stable yet weak, Im gonna change the drawing, I like it but it is needed to change.

In the last history post… so there was Rome and it was full of brutes, they killed all their heroes and the central power dissolved. Christianity was taken as a unifying force, as technology evolved and people changed, from fearing nature to fearing men, and I dont say “fear” as a mockery, have you heard about “fear of god”?

It seems to me that the emperor did believed it, that his mother taught him, but you cannot ignore the “real politics”, the courts, the guards, the financiers, the propaganda, it never ends. And today, technology has evolved so much it became the prophet, the fire and the god, salvation through tech, it will do everything I need, the fear of tech, to be left behind.

Anyway, and I should focus on the theme or Im never going to finish. Kingdoms out of the chaos, you need strong armies unless you want to risk your population to get wiped out… fast forward, the closed circle of the aristocracy rules, they are guardians, keepers of peace, protectors of order, without them society falls into senseless bloodthirsty savages. But now, who is going to defend us from them? women are malleable and men are expendable, they are to be squeezed and slaved, a smart one would tell you, its all part of order, you need sacrifice, you need commitment, there is no equality in liberty, only chaos.

At some breaking point there were a very few saying, “you abuse too much!! youre supposed to be king not a thief!” yet their courts with their endless greed and hunger… the party is never going to end… yet it did, strong economic powers outside the closed circle formed their own, and with romanticized ideas of their religion, fooled the masses into killing themselves for a change of power, the natural order replaced by the supreme being.

Eventually a massive war of modern artillery was orchestrated by that circle, the natural order was obsolete. But before that, so in this country, you have the liberals, the bent over line of kings, and the traditional one (and theyre cousins).

The guy Im making the investigation work about, I dont have clear info, but what I have is, he once was a priest, he fought young in a rebellion before, he was or got attached to commerce leagues, at some point the traditional wanna be king failed miserably and almost got captured, then fled to the neighbour country they used for operations. The only fight left was done by two expriest, they knew it was the end to their religion, and they were right… people support in mass, theyre about to take their own city, the king exiled forced one of his generals, “be there no matter what”, so he crossed back with like 20 soldiers.

They could take their own cities, but never others,the neighbour country didnt want them there anymore, and a economic war fell upon them and their organizations, their local goverments, gone.

So they took a boat to the americas, the excolony had plenty of their kind, not only ethnically, but the leagues of merchants, the ones doing the traffic of weapons, back home and there too.

One of his daughters ended up marrying the grandson of the biggest liberal ever, funny thing, all his kids married europeans… he once was a poor native, he was smart so with the help of the local priest, he learned to write, and he did it very well, a valuable talent back then. He lost a sheep or something, so he fled with his sister to the city, she was a maid in a wealthy family house, they noticed the smart not tall at all kid and they sent him to school. He did very well and became a lawyer, public service, etc. One of their daughters, the adopted one, it said so in her birth certificate, was in love with him, and her parents said, what a hell, were not gonna get her any better, so they allowed their marriage.

Circles against circles… and he became minister of a liberal president, who sold out and planned his own coup, yet failed. So our very short, native guy, president!!

The owners of the excolony since it was a colony, then said, thats it!! and called for european empires to claim the country, this time creating a new kingdom, to place order… for the real humans, not the others.

To their luck, the noble who came to rule, was a liberal!! a guardian of a crappy kingdom? no, no, no, were going to modernize… the local liberals were being replaced and hated him, the empire up north had a vision for the continent and want him gone, the conservatives were getting screwed, and back home they werent getting treasure enough, and there were wars to be fought, where is the gold?!

The new king ended alone… theres saying that they didnt killed him, just his personality, as negotiations were in place, but who the hell knows.

So here come liberty, and chaos, and the country is a mess, the short guy cant leave the presidency, one of the generals see an opportunity and claims, no reelection!! He cant do shit until the short guy dies. Eventually he takes the presidency, dictatorship, and doesnt let go for like 40 years, how? he becomes the king the other guy wasnt, installed slavery and sells the country out like there is no tomorrow.

So the guy Im investigating as work, first he fights for a traditional king, then he flees and his younger daughter marries one of the biggest liberal family ever, they were all merchants, the all sold guns for their wars to be fought… then became “best friends” with the new king, creating business to be favorite of government concessions and exemptions.

A revolution threw the king out, but the later government paid them reparations for “all the troubles, sorry!”.

They remained so-so until recently, now theyre old money, probably floating around here and there. The woman Im doing this work for, she didnt get any :O  though she had her status, found a husband of the same kind… she has not paid me!! but I havent finished, I need to do some graphics.

Well, thats it of that, back to my pain and flu sickness, I wont even sleep tonight, and wont even check if I wrote this right.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in History Time | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 88

I wanted to go back into art this week, but then work and busy things put their ugly tentacles on me, and then I remember of all the birds I need to feed, and how with the evening to all night rains they cant find any food, so they come to the only place… and the price of grain just wont go down… and to make it all worse, I have roof leaks from small cracks (and lack of proper maintenance) that Im gonna fix today, wouldnt be much of a problem if it wasnt raining aaaall night long, for three consecutive days… gladly yesterday was clear.

It rains waaaay too much, and too early, normally its mild until september-october with the hurricane season on the coast, luckily theres a chain of mountains in the middle.

The funny thing is that there was a state gov scam for a dam, they even cut the water supply saying the worst dry age ever was going to happen. As I told in other posts, theres a lot of “little lakes” exactly where I live, so the supply keeps coming here, and with good quality, I, and the birds and bunny, we drink directly from it, I should buy a filter… but thats like, cheating, we all drink the same. Once upon a time I noticed that the cats loved to drink currents from the hose or whatever, then I told myself, “theyre perfectly fine”, so I follow after them. I wouldnt do that anywhere else in the city and its yellow water.

I got a clue about the bunny origins mystery, I was walking towards the vegetable market in order to bring bird food, and there is a couple of water pumps on a bricked fenced large terrain, the rest is tall grass, and I saw another, younger, still hair forming, but just like Mr Bunny, and I was like, woooow… impossible to catch though, he went into the tall grass through a hole in the wall.

Havent seen him ever since. Mr Bunny bit my pinky finger yesterday (I dont mind), he was not comfortable after so many rains, hopefully today helps to calm down.

Baby #6 was tired of being at the hospital, she escaped many times, then returned… aaaahhh, poor Baby #2, :( … she finally found a place to stay at night, practically next to Mr Pio Pii, though theres a closet door in the middle, otherwise Mr Pio Pii wouldnt allow it, he is too jealous of his place, he even got a girlfriend the other day, but she wouldnt stay, then they separated or something, next time she tried to get close, he kicked her out, hehehe.

He is the best bird ever. Sometimes I dont pay much attention to him, as everything is fine and I focus and work with the sick. You would think with the rains, the hospital should be full, but it is warm so theyre good.

Finally, before I get ready for the bird breakfast morning and then back to sleep, so needed for the long day ahead… what was I going to say?… oh, alright, remember the girl of the other day, I did went for the english class, she was like “I, I, I, I do have a boyfriend”, as she was worrying about the “cost”, because she went ahead before to say “youre gonna charge, meeeee?”, I only laughed and said, pay me whatever at the end, when you actually learn something. She said many times that she did knew, yet their level is very basic, and she doesnt really know. Problem is, two things, people here have a natural rejection to learn another language, specially english, as is the one thrown to their face, people here really dislike it, I dont really know why, I might take a guess and say, people here dont like to study, they dont see the worth of it. Meh, who knows, anyway, second thing, as always… theyre teaching her british textbook english.

“I havent a car”.

I dont mind the british, its the textbook part, theyre force feeding her with things shell never use, in the very small time she will make an effort to study. The self eating british empire 2.0 may be crumbling down to their own stupidity, yet she lives on this side of earth.

Though it is a tricky thing, the language, you cannot remain above like a smug idiot pretending to be better, the masses take it wherever, eventually it formally changes, and thats it. For example, my spanish is more on the formal modern side, as I learned it that way long ago, by now even words have changed because people were too lazy to pronounce them as those were “se esta poniendo oscuro” “obscuro” “what???”. If “pos” wasnt a sign of popular class, they would have change it already.

Ah, who gives a damn, speak like you want and thats it.

Ohhh, wait wait wait, it is not the end, theres a lady in the netherlands with an amazing pigeon shelter, ultra cool, check it out!


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Coffee Drinking 87

The storms are gone for now, and the so much needed discipline is coming back to Aus place. They also find other places to eat, so they go easier on me, with less birds, food last longer and I dont have to clean that much, aaand they behave better, as the flocks break and the close ones to me dictate how to be.

With the heavy rains I dont mind relaxing the discipline, if Im gonna help, then is when its needed, as they get cold, wet, and cant find where to eat. Rather have depleted supplies than a saturated hospital.

Im still focusing on work and fixing my stuff, the history investigation goes on, this time on this side of the world, as the daughter of the guy ended up marrying… well, Ill write a post about that. The embroidery thing goes on, she wants to make a workshop, that would mean me having constant work, buuuut, I think shes gonna ditch me the second she can do stuff on her own, so I dont kill myself over it.

And finally, this little idiot wants free english classes, three a week, haaaa!

Well, whatever happened with her?

After a few needy and pathetic years, she decided to throw herself to some dude and have a kid, yet the classic “Im gonna keep him” was on her mind all along, and failed.

She went even poorer for a couple of years, until some relative found her a teacher job at a public school, then the long, loooong quest for a husband continued.

Whenever she broke up with whoever, above happened, in vain.

And now she wants free classes because she believes she is special, attractive or something, haaaa! pathetic.

Im not that bad, Im gonna help her, but on my terms.

I really long to go back into storytelling mode, but thats also the thing, I want to put everything together in my life, I dont want art to be an escapism on any form, everything must flow along on the same direction, so far Im getting close to that result.

And while I wait, my mind keeps happily working, and I have the second and third part of the “Oh Revenge” story, which continues on the funny side. The second is them having a kid every year or two.


And a little army of.

Which one were you, again?

On the third part, we reverse roles with.

Much of these doesnt make sense, it is mostly on the comedy side.

And a fourth part, as Im working on the history investigation, I got the feeling and idea… in the future, humanity hasnt killed itself, theyre still trying but not yet… and we have, like, Aurora the seventh, or something, looking for records and documents, finding in shock about this and that. I think she is going to be her, in combination with the story I had for this drawing, Normal Au.

Cause Ive been thinking about them, the people Im looking information about, what would they feel about me and their relative? reading so many books and documents, contacting here and there, studying to somehow make sense about their life, so obvious to their eyes. I think we would have a very nice afternoon, talking about this. They are interesting people who lived in interesting times, of that on the next History post, it will probably take two, as commentary of the times will go long.

Cheesy romantic song I like for whatever reason, probably the voice actresses.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee



Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 86

Im terribly sad to announce, that Baby#2, reaching the age of very young adult, died last morning of health complications, services will be held…. aahhhhhh, he was the best baby by far, he always had a weak digestive system, which was a sign of something else, the other day there was a huge storm, as the skies cried for his departure to come, they never hold him close…it was a process, but the end was too fast, he felt bad one night, then got a heart attack one morning, for the signs I realize now it was not the first one.

Six months only, he lived very well, he even had a wife… they were having a good time at the hospital, so I didnt bother them much with cleaning… now is a mess but only half as Ive been working on it.

I dont know about his wife, Baby#6, she will probably want to leave, but I have released her like six or more times already, and she always comes back. Baby#8 has become a bit rebellious, he is probably ready to leave… I dont know, and it is weirdly raining a lot, its not a good time to let go, I even got a new, old one, seeking shelter at night from the bad weather, when they go those lengths, its a clear indication that they are sick… and I see another one, kind of coughing, it was cold last night, lets see if I can catch, its tricky cause I dont want to scare them much for them to come back, in case I miss, and its raining right now, Im gonna wait until I finish this.

Ahhhh, Baby#2, it was so fast I didnt believe for a day, also thanks to that I wasnt miserable all week. He was the first one I brought, fallen from one of the nests of the bridge, he ran too fast and I couldnt catch him, he almost got ran over by a car, like twice, until I finally threw myself to the ground for him… you know, this whole bird thing is insane, the amount of daily effort and time, the money I barely have and I irresponsibly spend on them… at moments like this it is all worthwhile.

The storytelling works keep pilling up, it appears that I am finishing fixing the mesh life issues I was dealing with, but I still have a lot of work, I fixed a laptop yesterday, then I found a lot of new information for the history investigation, I need to go deeper into it and also start making charts and new documents, theres a bunch of stuff I havent read, it is very interesting and it will pay well, but time, time, time, how do I freeze it?

And so, in my mind Ive been working, not only on the “Oh Revenge” story that will be for much later, also the Nuthouse Happy Days story, the last of the Aurora book, volume, whatever. Its a spiral of, mmm, well, the title says it all, though “happy” is said in a, sinister way. Spiral is a good term, as the mind and ideas twist, and twist, and twist, provoking slumber and, what I would call a shift in spiritual energies, for example, your hand is your hand, and you control it with your brain, but now you have three hands on your right, and you can move them all on their own.

Well, youll see then when I reach that point in the works. After the war on all adults and that, the early that never happened recovery was the story “Core to Illusions”, thats what makes it so emotional, and so strong.

After the “travel between dimensions”, the yearn to come back creates all these, “magic places”, theatrical stages for a performance to happen.

Hey, Im alive, I didnt die…

I finally got to see the light of a new morning, now, what am I going to do with my days? as they casually pass in such a warm and steady emotion, mmm, they dont move much, but I have a whirlwind in my heart… ahhhh, the daily passing by.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 85

As the rains refreshes the days and nights, and all details and issues of this and that have solved fine, tonight (last night, fell asleep) Im feeling an, emh, weird sense of steady peace.

The only thing left is to go back to storytelling, but I think Im gonna take some more time, as I need to finish the history investigation (and charge for it… and of course, write another post about it), then theres this embroidery machine thing I need to learn today so I can teach tomorrow.

And Ive been working on other stuff too, as much as I didnt want to and left it to drag, its healthy to take care of the countless aspects of normal life, as well as the emotional winds trying to carry past weight, and not so old.

Feels great when everything works out, the next chapter is mostly done, and has been for a long time, yet Ive been taking myself elsewhere in order not to finish it.

Ghostly Aurora, in the making, someday.

Great challenges await me, in the mostly complete remake of the first stories. The next one, Blood Circles, its not really difficult, but I need to be in the mood to immerse myself in it, and I am not right now.

The third story, The War on All Adults, its gonna be great, Ive been developing it in my mind… its gonna be, pretty harsh, strong, direct, with romanticism attached.

The, tragic, ending, or better said post ending, will be with…

Theyre walking together down a lonely street, under the shadow of trees, and a, “I know you better”, the whole chapter is about her talking, something like, there is this song that I like the title and music, yet the rest of the lyrics, mmmmmmm, since Im taking inspiration Im not going to criticize. So, she says, with a serious expression and holding her stolen heart she keeps to herself, as she sees the larger force of the one she loves, moving on its own, on a path she cannot go, “Its the little things that give you away”. Then I rewrite the rest of the lyrics. Not that, but she goes on saying something like, “Beyond the noise and the spark, as a thunder nightly suddenly pierces the land, the fear of more to come, the mystery of those before, anger at nothing and all, like a forgotten god lost in the mist of a new morning, I know you better than that, as I only can”.

Oh, I got the midi keyboard :D but I couldnt “translate” Oda to Chocolate Cake from the old way of playing, Im gonna have to remake it too. And I have parts for a new song too, a bit more dramatic one, though its gonna take time until I fix the other stuff.

The hospital is doing great, baby number two and six have created a very nice community, theyre perfectly healthy, I think Im gonna keep them anyway. Along is baby number 8 and 10, drawing in the making.

She is grown now, not quite yet, almost, Im pretty sure she and baby 10 are siblings, they look very similar, and behave well :)

He is a young adult now, he and baby 6 became a couple.

Date of files, December and February, time really flies.

And she is doing fine too, with half paralysis and all, such a great attitude she has.

I did tell you about this further chapter called “Oh Revenge” with Aurora having a kid and feeling even worse than what her Mother felt with her.

Its not happening, gladly, the birds and bunny have their own thing going on, so Im gonna have to pass this wisdom to you.

If you ate something bad, puke it out!

Vomit and make it an easily controllable infection, if it goes too deep, it will become a bigger problem, some pill wont handle the wave, out!!

Inflammation of the upper part of the belly is a clear sign, baaaaarf.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

History Time 05

Remember that schizoid paranoid woman student I had? well, she is back, she was away for some time, she “exploded”, calmed down and called me again after months.

She was “tired of it all”, and at the time I was too, staring at space… so we got along fine, I fixed her laptop and a couple of phones, the next assignment was a history study to find out about an old relative.

Of course I said yes, I always do when asked, to figure it out later, and I was too lazy-busy to do it but, enough time passed and I had to stop and just do it, which now I am glad for, I didnt know much, nor was interested about that time in history, it turned out the opposite… and she pays well, so.

The thing is, after reading book after book, military documents, lists, letters, this and that, videos, blabla… I am brainwashed, I have reproduced it so much in my mind, Im brainwashed into one of them… l,l,l, long live the king! (its funny to say because it is the contrarian thing :D )

Spain, XIX century, the empire is falling, what a mess.

The economic active class below the nobles has grown too big, mix the political ingredients until you have the overly romanticized french revolution, and then the napoleonic empire breaks too many things that are not coming back, then just wait for the industrial revolution to cook everything into… ahg, as much as I like my peasant private bathroom and electronics, you know, it is disgusting.

The businessman bloated colonial empires will soon get modern artillery, but not today, thats a worry for some other time, today, most people live rural lives.

Back to Spain, they got rid of the french, then the king on his later days kept floating between moderate liberals and conservatives, the radical liberals always pushing, he doesnt have a boy kid which would have made the succession more clear, he finally decides for the moderates, and appoints his newlyborn daughter, so her mother really, in alliance with those.

In reaction, the brother of the king rallies the support of the conservatives and launches a war, that goes well until the main general of them dies, he grew too big after victories, the wannabe king doesnt even like him… with his death, they cannot complete the siege of a port city he was against to do in the first place, and from there is a losing war so there is a division, some sign a peace treaty in good terms, as their rank is recognized in the government army, the others with the brother of the king, go to France in exile to now play family games for power, cause even with the clear division of who is fighting, this was a war between uncle and niece.

This is just one of the many problems, radicals want a republic, moderates want a stronger leash on the queen, the queen side wants to break free, the conservatives yearn for older times and its systems, the local semi-independant since conception governments are wary of “foreign” liberal ideas of conquest, and the grandgrandson of that wannabe king is going to try his luck.

Basically the same happens at that war, some call it third, some called it second, because the second was too small, basically the preparations and tries until they could launch it big, and the same happened, they grew large in support, they couldnt take the same port city and others, they disintegrated, only this time the armistice wasnt as good as the last time, they struggled a lot in their defeat, and, you know, they couldnt fight the modern days, it was to eat them all.

“Throw ourselves to the hills” was to form a guerrilla against the evil liberal government, cause you know, Lucifer was the first liberal (angry face), who gave the scream of freedom and equality in heaven, the rebel angel, the first democrat, the first to claim his individual rights, proclaiming his independence, and equality to God himself (more angry faces). Adam and Eve were his followers (goddamn, you bitch!), imitated by the following generations, the butchers of the revolutionary government!!

If that speech didnt convince you, well, they dont really ask for your consent, youre probably a liberal then, summary judgement!! :D

Its a war and both sides are terrible, its just easier to make fun of one side because, they have more stories. Its not about the system, both can work, its about good people running it, top and bottom… “good”.

Ill continue next post, more on the individual level, as the investigation continues, and as the morning comes and I have a thousand things to do… if I dont come back… I had to do it… it wont rain until the king wins :(


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee





Posted in History Time | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 84

Interrupted by work, Ive been half asleep constantly since yesterday, which naturally leads to the state of “trance” I told you the last post, in fact, I had a huge regression last afternoon-evening, to the point of visualize, moving your head and “looking around” (not really, just the sense of it), but it was busy hour with the birds visiting the feeding grounds, so they kept bringing me back.

(Now this drawing is starting to make sense to me).

Then analyzing as the storyteller I am, the extense of what I could do with this “trance” thing, always when I write a story, it is at least a mini-trance anyway. It lead me realizing something else.

I did a great representation of Grandma Aurora and Auroras Mother in the last chapter of the Beautiful Mother story, it left me wanting more and more but I dont feel like it, basically because they all think Aurora was a dumb little worthless idiot, and there is nothing I can do to change it.

Since then there was this “I dont care” attitude, for real, so it didnt create a trauma in the sense of rejection, yet something else happened that I just realized.

There is rejection with attachment, like this funny scene I havent write about Auroras Mother and her mother, she teases her little one constantly, and then goes “see? I told you I could make her do that, hahaha” “hahahaha”. Auroras Mother didnt like her child that much, yet she still actively fulfill her duty until the moment she died. The rest of the line was absent.

And there is rejection without attachment, on the fatherly side, they would gladly do a thousand trimester abortion. The main problem is that the balance is not there, Auroras Father was “halfway gone” by the time they lived together. He was a lonely child with a lonely child.

“Birth certificate in a Will” sweet and all, would have been worthless, as there was no one to enforce it. I can curse all day about the high classes destroying the world, but theres also this “bad attention” it creates, nobody gives a damn about you if your poor, but also nobody gives a damn about you if youre rich, they only care about your wealth. Nobody cares about anyone, but then youre a tasty piece of meat.

And then there is this forever teenage woman, Aurora ends up with after an “accident”. She has a million problems and her family was into more.

What I just came to realize, its the huge wall this created between Aurora and the adult world, so when she finally was on her own… I have this great title called “The War on all Adults”, Ill either rename the stories Little Commander or Cowboy Wars with it. Its perfect, and it sounds so great, so again, “The War on all Adults”, I even feel like a rock star :D though is gonna be a nasty writing.

On the contrary, the only one who really liked Aurora was her younger cousin, to her, she was like a superhero who could do anything.

Ahh, now Ive made myself cry… so to finish the post, another song.

“Then I dreamed that I saw Mommy, with a supermarket trolley

I was trying to throw my arms, around her world

She took a wild flower, thorny and brittle

Through the eye of a needle

Trying to throw my arms, around her world”.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee




Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 83

Im writing in my mind a story for later chapters, its kind of a funny one, its about Aurora meeting with her grandmothers.

On the fatherly side, things start bitter, sour bitter leading to bloody, but then Aurora goes into a poetic romantic mode… you know, the thing about her and her only child… so she goes back to him shaking, and he says “-It is not that big of a deal, dont drawn yourself in a glass of water -I, I know -It means Im productive, I can have the real one later, just, dont wait for it… I, I get it -really? then stop shaking, she is who she is, Im not -oh, you dont need to tell me -so, now what? youre yellow -I think Im going to be sick, so sick -mmm, the sooner you get over it -Im, not, you dont seem to understand -now what? -nevermind, just leave me alone for a while, no!! dont leave me alone!! stay, for some time -its just a kid -are you sure? -what?”.

Or something like that. I dont have more drawings of her, I want to make more but I always get a revolting stomach feeling, Im gonna have to bear with it at some point.

On the motherly side, its more simple, “hey, dont kiss me like that!”, then ignores completely to continue her thoughts “what if humanity does not offer salvation? its just survival instinct, the group, the thought of it, fog, they have nothing, they hold nothing, they offer, an illusion, worship a piece of wood or clothe, wasting time, follow the gossip leading to a hole, from the very beginning, they never knew! its a play of pretend to feel good, its, its fear, humanity was grown by fear in order to be eaten, I, I see the silhouettes, its, its all inside, the mind, the nerves, just watch closely, the expression, admire, the energy flowing, and then, and then -I never feel afraid, well mostly, I dont even react the same -Shut up, dont interrupt -Its just instinct, and its just people, why care to begin with? -Shut up, go be a baby elsewhere, shuu -Im gonna be twice older than mother was! you shut the fuck up!! -Quiet kid!!… maybe someone older, the trees, or should I go, to the sea…”

Im actually not that old, just yet, and I couldnt write the part of Grandma Aurora the First well, for that I need to go into “trance” mode, deep into it, and Im not in the mood right now, specially with the heat. Well, I have plenty of time to do that, this story is for much later.

Remakes for the next story:

Mmm, how to say this… If you were to find me on the street, yes, I would say hello, him would not. You get the idea, right? this branch of the family is not into, kindness. You get what you get, thats what you are powerful for, heart is a phony idol for those who cannot.

I didnt change that much, just a few details.

My midi keyboard broke in transit, I already ordered it again.

And to finish today, a song:

“Oh father, dont you cry

hey dad, wipe the tears from you eyes

Ill never admit that I need you

when day is as dark as the night is long

Im in the black, cant see or be seen

then you bury your treasure where it cannot be found,

but your love is like a secret, and has been passed around

your mother and mine, me and…”


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 82

Where is Au? oh, she did something crazy to rescue the little bird… nah, I didnt.

I visited later that day, he was still in. The next morning, I noticed something at the middle of the street as I looked from afar, when I got close, his crushed body was there, ran over by a car, a female grackle was eating the millet coming out of his throat (I told you he did eat), and little birds were playing adventure, daring to go into the rain drain pipe for a meal.

The same fate as his brother, as I was looking at his not so old corpse (must have happen that morning), some car was trying to pass by, yet Au didnt share the same fate as the sibling birds, for Au has muscle, is evil and mean, not even a claxon nor a curse, thats the bitter truth.

“At least is over now” and for me, I could finally move on.

Then I went voting for the socialist party at the middle term election. Theres an interesting discussion, high classes are the same as ever, since the colony, lower classes lost the fear based on the anti system vote that happened in the country north from here some time ago. It is the middle classes, the one floating around, and with that, their vices more exposed.

Theyre a weird mutant, the old generation was the dictatorship vs catholic conservatives, the first crumbled from its own corruption, the second faded away. So now the middle class lost identity, they want the priority the low class has now in policy, yet it is not fit for them, and they want to be rich, hahaha.

And normally they defend the system, as long as it allows them to retain the very low amount of wealth they have. But they also imitate the progressive imports, they want to be it, but only do much, they believe in certain of those rights, yet they vote for the party that goes against, and theyre not catholic anymore, they dont set foot in a church unless someone dies, and even then.

The leftover catholics are the worse, they are not religious, they are superstitious, they believe in countless myths about everything. I guess some things never change, cause it feels like going to the middle ages.

So, are they going to align with the rich and their slavery? yes, but they will be soon betrayed again and float around once more. Will they support the low class in their struggle? No, they believe the low class rising means the end of their small wealth, that the rich will deliver and the poor must be there. Theyre like a beaten wife clutching her monthly allowance. Maybe if the cultural levels werent soooo low.

Well, thats it of that, theres a new baby, baby number 10, he came flying on his own and stayed here looking for a shelter, most likely he didnt attached to a flock, and his parents were rejecting him, anyway, he followed, and found Aus place with food and water, and a roof.

The heat came back and worse, yuck… that and a lot of work, but Ill try to keep up and post often. I dont feel right now to go back into writing, so Ill be redoing drawings and such, this will go to the next story, I would normally change it all, but, I get why it got done this way, the childish image of him, square… theyre too similar, so they get along well.

Guess who bought a midi keyboard :D ? its a music keyboard you connect to the computer. And at a very good price, it will arrive by the end of the week. Though, I think it will take sometime until I play something.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Coffee Drinking 81

I have a very bad mood today, I tried to brainwash myself into not, but was impossible.

Yesterday I went for bird food, there were no babies lost down the bridge, but on the way, I took the catholic curses center route.

And to the right of here, by the window where Michael and wife sneaked in to make a nest (he is still around, she died, or something, long agoI saw someone like her with an injured wing near him, was probably her, but, I dont know, could fly away before I got close, which means she probably found someone-somewhere to support her, so, she may not be dead, and Michael doesnt have a new wife… its all so strange, pigeon mysteries can drive you insane :O ).

Back to the developing tragedy, I saw a bwaby and got ready to capture, but passing the tree, as I tried to catch him on the other side, he disappeared… it took me a while to figure out, he went into the recently placed large rain drains.

The only thing I could do was to throw a bunch of recently purchased millet, and mortify in the way of “I have this thing to do”.

A couple of hours ago I went back, the corpse of his brother ran over by a car as he hid under, was thrown across the street to the catholic curses center. Theres a difficult neighbour old woman there at the corner, sadly this morning when I was looking for the little one, she was passing by and noticed me, and stared… I got up, cleaned my knees, and walked straight in line, staring back, with all the sweetness of my expression, as you can see above, Im such an angel :)  and left without saying a word, she moved away as I got close, perhaps I should have talked but, mmm, I didnt trust her.

Problem is, I gave away his position… ahhggg… this is turning to an impossible rescue… can you imagine? fell from the nest, weak and cannot fly, hungry and thirsty, his brother is dead, his brains and eyes… theres some cats around, dogs are walked, people consider you a vermin. Ill try to go back in the evening, but there is so much I can actually do. If it rains, he can drink water, but theres a larger obvious problem, as his shelter and food (he did eat) will be flooded, the reason thats a big pipe is because it receives from a large surface at the roof.

I understand my limits and difficulties, but now the next step, is to forget about it.

This is across the street, near where his brother died.


Help me feed the birds!!

Buy me a Coffee


Posted in Coffee Drinking | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment