About: Ashes to Illusions 03-06

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 03

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 04

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 05

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 06

Little Wolf continues to tell whatever she can make up of the past to the shell personality, in all her pride she goes far to figure out whatever and pretend the amnesia doesnt affects her, she is too proud not to know.
Something that took me some time, besides a little gaming vacation, was that I put the whole old Ashes story into a chapter, and then the X chapter, the Au dinner, remained the same. So the third chapter says a looot, under a very few lines, I liked that, it was the best format for what it was.

The Au dinner, weeell, you get a lovely sight of Mother Aurora, and I omitted the Grandma Aurora parts, I guess she was too nervous :O

For the new story, Im not trying to make something historical, cause I dont think theres a point, just as I think making riddles for stories is useless, I rather like a punch-in-the-face kind of story, theres no need to go around the stuff, that would be boring, I dont like describing scenarios in a thousand empty words that mean little to nothing, the punch shapes it all.

What I love to do in these cases is to write a Kara no Shoujo-Caucassus-Cartagra type of story, a very strong tragedy and beautiful story. It all ends up in him having a child living in her own happy world, loligrandma Aurora.

She is coming in the next chapter by a country train.

I kind of feel bad, cause I could be making such a large main story out of the new one, yet I dont have the fuel to do it, as a secondary is great though, Im glad of how things are shaping.

Nothing like coming from war to see this face…

Thats why you are not “normal”, thats why you go beyond, it wouldnt be worth to live otherwise. To be cattle under their spell is already hell, or maybe Im too much of a freak and my “group thing” genes got screwed, and without love it cannot be seen.

But shhhhh! thats a secret, I dont want the Reptile Queen to nuke my house.

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About: Ashes to Illusions 01-02

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 01

Happiness of Marionette 03 ~Ashes to Illusions~ ch 02

She is the childish form of the present core, but that doesnt mean she remembers it all. She, as you can easily see, is very proud, and also feels the need to show superiority to the Reo personality, so she fills the blanks while going for him being too much of an emotional retard to figure it out, and it works.
She kind of does the same with AuAu when the whole Aurora book, thats why the narrative is messed up, lacking emotions and first person view, but back then, which was before this, Dark Cloud Aurora was about to explode and Au comes to take care of the situation while having some storyteller fun.
Of course she tried the same later with the OriginalReo-Detective-Teacher personality, but it wasnt happening, he was there all along, she wasnt fooling him. And from there the story turns into seeking the truth while dealing with present matters, by doing so the past core awakens too (Happiness of Pigeon), and eventually fuse into the real personality (Eyes Opened Chapter). The same will happen with these two, Little Wolf and Reo, the shell personality will be absorbed and the present core, Aurora, will wake up.

Funny how the Teacher personality remained attached to the past core in his task to wake her up, even when he became secondary of the present core, thus changing from “detective” to “teacher”.

Back to our current story, the first thing she talks about is how beautiful their mother is.

Another chapter or two and then the new loligrandma Aurora story, its gonna be very cruel and very sweet at the same time.

And later more of Little Wolf and her dumb servant, dont worry, further the path he improves and the dynamics become more interesting.

Yaaa, I had to sell my tablet, kind of sad but I already have too many electronics. The situation is stable and I want it to remain that way, so time to sell it was. Things appear to be going back to normal after the mega sponsor audit. I did the Visualization and Style of drawings post, but I hold it cause it was too bitter after the audit, and I realize it doesnt make as happy as storytelling, so all side projects to the freezer, to be done once in a rare while.

About: New Stories

Im under heavy auditing that goes on and on, though it has gone well so far, the length is killing me, which drives to the third story in Eyes Open Chapter, “The Delusion of the Sponsor”, starts with a not so childish Reptile Queen setting things up, then the two lines that meet on Aurora, the Sponsor and her own, so very different, and due to circumstances, the illusion of the shell from Aurora begins to crumble, and things get very honest in a cruel development, that hopefully will have a happy ending.

Very exciting story, I may start to write it before I forget it :P
I havent done anything from the loligrandma Aurora story, I need a new air for that, I really want to do it well.

–

And another thats been on my mind “Feather Dreams”, the great cousin chapter. The intro goes with Aurora saying something like that song “you know I like to dream a lot, of this and that, and what is not… but mainly, I dream of you a lot” and the answer from her is “are you, hihihihi, are you going to wait forever? wait for me, wait forever and ever”.

–

Then in the first chapter you get to hear the words of Auroras father, how sick he is after her mother break up and death, he cant understand her daughter, he cant control her, and Im talking more of a personal level, not just the “she can beat me up” thing… mostly the “she acts so much like her mother, she is driving me insane”, beginnings of alcoholism, heavy depression, a complicated situation where she has to remain a secret, oh, and the lusty thing…

Hehehe.
Then he finds her cousin, her poor family and their very needy situation.
You dont need to ask twice, you old fool.

Wish me luck with the rest of the audit, I desperately need going back to normal… you didnt think she was going to defeat the Reptile Queen, did you? she will always win until…
“Big sky holding up the sun, holding up the moon
Big sky holding down the sea, holding up the stars
Big sky, catch you in a jar
But you cannot hold me down anymore.”
That means death.
And thats the song Alice in her first story sings before the fake kidnapping and murder, so she escapes.

I needed to write the memos, and it became a post without the details :O

 

About: Drawings 02

About: Drawings 02

In this post Ill be talking a little about the software I use to make to make the drawings, Im not gonna shill them though.
I believe its important to use different programs, not only to enjoy different tools, but also to refresh your mind a little, like when you get tired of writing in the same form and change styles, not that I like hoarding computer programs, which I dont, just a small change once in a while, also depending on what you want to draw.
What I guess people mostly dont like is the learning of the tools part, and I say that cause I give computer classes, normally people dont like the effort and confusion of learning, they dont want to feel dumb, they dont want to go into a fog, they dont want to follow instructions and make sense of it, and you get to see so many reactions of the same thing, from arrogance to apathy. Its very bad for my business cause it makes them stop, but for the ones who do bite, they keep needing you.
So you have to learn how the program works, and also experiment what does what, so many times there is no manual, you need to try things out and find out for yourself what works and what does not. Dont end up like some comment I saw once, “Oh this program doesnt work, cause I do this when I color, and see, it doesnt work”, thats whats called one trick pony.

For the PC and drawing tablet, I as many others use Sai, a very old but so fine program, for all around drawing, very complete, an example would be these.

There are some programs to “rotoscope” a picture but I rather do it by hand, you can do it with Sai.

You dont really want a copy, right? why bother then?

When the file gets too large, its faster to save on a SSD rather than a normal hard drive, cause you take your time drawing and the normal one sleeps, you dont have it spinning all day, do you? you dont have your windows on that, do you?
Everytime you take a step, save, save, save. You get confident later, but still, keep saving, its very fast here.
Sai is a must have in my opinion, and next my favorite, Art Academy, emulating real life drawing tools.

There are different versions depending on the console you may have, the best one is the WiiU version, more tools and HD, but I dont think youll be able to get a WiiU at this point. Theres the portable version of the same on 3ds, but I already spent too much on videogames and already have the home version, aaand already have the ds version. I mean, since day one I thought they were going to ban me, but they didnt, wp is been pretty great along the years, so Im not gonna tell you about hacking, mine are not even, I went all digital in the before times and Im happy, so I stuck there. With the ninty magic comes the ninty problem though, so beware. Back to our WiiU program, you need to be patient with the saving and such, thats why I dont post “making of” videos anymore, it takes too long and I got tired of it.
The tools are very good, from pencil

charcoal

pencil colors

pastel colors

paint

mixed

The ds version is the first one, it gives you small pictures but works pretty good and fast, has pencil.

and paint

The tools are similar but I feel it works much better here, Im not sure if its the resolution or something else.
I guess you could try this up in your tablet or phone, but the screen would suck.

Colors is next, I bought it on impulse, its not so fine for my style, but I have managed to make it worth.

Its more of normal pc program, there are not many tools but you can do a lot with the opacity levels.

And finally Sketchbook, theres a windows version but its a joke to Sai, so I only use it on my tablet, and, hey, the pencils do work.

A machine is just that, the reaction in you is whats important.

Im gonna be kind of busy in the next days, probably why I started this instead to continue with the story, another sponsor audit cause of some circumstances.

About: Drawing 01

I thought it would be nice to share a little about the drawing process I do, so you can draw and be happy like AuAu.

Hey, where did everybody go?
Anyway.

The beginnings are complicated and you need a lot of patience to reach a level of skill where you actually enjoy doing it, if youre not in for some work you wont get far.
First elements to consider would be hardware, software, visualization and style.

I started writing long ago, I used to say that the reason for it was because it was as cheap as it could be, some large notebook and pens, and there you go. The real reason is different but the point still stands, for drawing is mostly the same, but get on with the times, youre really missing a lot of fun, of course is much more expensive, but I highly doubt you are poorer than me, come on.

Not to drag much on hardware, touch screens are annoying to work with but youll likely have some around, maybe you can start with that to learn the very basics. From what Ive read, its not really a touch but a tiny electric shock, real “touch” screens like the ones of a 3ds or wiiu work much better. Why do I mention those? cause I use them a lot.
The best option by far is a drawing tablet, and the power of a decent computer, theres only one good brand and some knock-offs, dont be cheap with this, especially since the most basic tablet works perfectly, you dont need that software, you dont need the buttons and whatever gimmick they throw at you to sell more, the tablet and the pen and thats it, maybe just the wireless for comfort.
Yes, you will be seeing the screen as you draw, not the tablet, its only weird at the first, youll get use to it and wont even notice later.
Theres a bunch of details of this and that, but theres no point for me to write about it, Im pretty sure you can read it elsewhere, I dont want to sound like an unboxing channel.

In the next one about software.

About: Ashes to Illusions

Ever since Josephine died its been a very rough change, not only for her being gone, but also my sense of home, and my appetite for some time, my feral nature has taken over, sure I still take care of the pigeons, a very selected group, but they have their own thing going on.

With the sense of a home you become more, kind, warmer, with the feral sense you become sharper, more aggressive, its kind of a, weird, feeling, to be in the middle, lets be honets, Im too old and injured to be full feral again, and I dont know what to think about it, its not about evil or good, nor better or worse, not even nostalgia, its probably about change, it all hit you at once, these large processes that took a long time to develop, reproducing from a fingertip to another, its difficult not to pay attention and become obsessed.
Anyway, moving on, something I wish to do, to focus on the stories yet I cant let go. The next one will be a remake, at first I was thinking of making it short and combine into one, originally there was four after Reos inside trial, “Ashes to Illusions” where Reo keeps asking about his past, and Little Wolf making a bunch of stuff up cause she is too proud to say she doesnt remember much at all. “A Boy without a Heart” asking the obvious youarecrazy questions. “The Lost Mighty Wolf” about what happens with Little Wolf after awakening. “The Very Late Great Travel” a nostalgia trip but also, hey, Im going after all.
Its all very childish, because Little Wolf is the child form.

In Ashes, originally was talking how Grandma Aurora emigrated so young after her father was a war frenzy monster, while trying to make a connection to the Actress information in a way to make it possible for her to be her cousin, yeeep, it goes that far, I mean, she already knows its not her, but, well, its romance to fill the air with, I guess, cause boredom is suicide.
Im gonna remake it into something much more interesting while taking the base of it, now we will see a complete story about the very evil and mean Great Grand Father of Aurora, full creep Aurorish style, so you know what to expect… and his bad luck charm and demise, loli Grandma Aurora, who doesnt even know whats going on.
In the later chapters you get more info about what really happened with Grandma Aurora.

The Mii theater is kind of gone, Im not deleting that site yet but I dont see much future for it, so Im gonna make the best of it and focus on the best character for a little, emh, fashion show.

I may do something about the Reptile site while I put my mind, and body together, I wanted to start with a drawing “The Poor Priest” who doesnt have the money to embrace his degenerate emotions, so sad, then the Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! of that folk song.
Then the other side project, its very arty and I havent put together the concept, its this dude I call shithead in the memos, but I kind of keep that term to myself, not to fool anyone, its not about that, is this normalish cool dude who is successful and worries about the stupidest things, surrounds himself with beautiful dumb as fuck people, theyre not even normal, you could say that they are at the other side of the rainbow from Aurora, and its sort of a Reo thing cause he is so shallow and the people around him mostly fill a role rather than being someone on their own, yet theyre so shallow too, they have no problem with. Its a shallowfest, whatever he says and does lacks any dept.
Anyway, lets see if it goes anywhere, and as you see, I have so much to work with, and I wrote this to help put my mind together.

About: Path of Dolls 16-17

Happiness of Marionette 02 ~Path of Dolls~ ch 16

Happiness of Marionette 02 ~Path of Dolls~ ch 17

And with these, the Path of Dolls story is done, clapclapclap.
And also we reach what would be, mmm, lets say the end of the old Aurorish testament.

“The best part is that is not the end, it never really is”

This is what really happened, the fight against the Satellite and Demons stories, the “you didnt do anything”, about her lovely cousin of course, she doesnt swing that hard about herself, why? I, I dont know, I guess theres no need to.
The rest of Happiness of Marionette is about Little Wolf and Reo, and how the child form grows and absorbs the shell, awakening the present core Aurora, who goes on in Storytelling Days.

Which version of Reo do you like the best?
The conviction fanaticism of the magician, the allisfairplaycausewekilledourcousin demon transformation of worlds, or the real Reo, the doll to fill in for her father?

Maybe we missed so many interesting stories with this outcome, but theres no fuel for anything else, both “monsters” lose their sense of existence and die, one way or another.
“So, when is she, he or whatever going after the Actress? that sounds like a good fap”
Eeemmh, she doesnt, :(
I know, I know, such a scam! now you finally know why Im not charging for this.
It sure took me a while to do two chapters, but I had what was a successful audit, dealing with pigeon stuff, still getting used to Josephines departure and the changes of the place, aaaand something like this happened and I hurt my left arm

I put the hands first in what I like to believe was a divine test for there to be known I am not a lefty daughter of Satan. Im such a left side wimpy, I need some changes cause Im ending up like a pitcher.
Many, many stuff to come, I even came up with another side project, but I rather shut up and let things flow on its own.

About: Path of Dolls 13-15

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ 13

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ 14

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ 15

Dont get too attach to the Image, Reo is the one who “will win” or die with everything in the process, kinda meant to be, you already have the core in both her past and present versions, and of course the wonderful real Mother Aurora, there is not much point, isnt it? they would just repeat the same thing again and again, the Image is just means of communication.

And so, the journey trial had started, in 13 you see them walking as he expresses his emotions, his shallow very empty emotions, he is just a shell personality left in the wind for so many years, thats why he needs the image to even function properly, the lost boy-detective personality did on his own, but here “the machine” was already collapsing, as you could see in Wingless.

The trial is to defeat those two monsters at the red spheric room, which represent the Satellite and Demons stories, the “you didnt do anything” about her cousin, to reach again, in the middle of the illusion of the Actress.

He fights them well yet unable to do much, he starts to progress but becomes very tired, the Image notices and ends the fight. After conquering the trial, he is supposed to become a guardian again, a restoration of the machine.

Grrraaawl, Evil Cousin.

Then the Image takes him to the core, along the way he meets fate in a very lovely and adorable form. The “Hikari Accident” happens to him. Blonde because of the Actress illusion.

This is on 14, he dies but “you never met her on your life” it doesnt make sense for him to die, so he lives again, very traumatized but there is no time to even cry, the trial is upon him.

In 15 she shows him the core, better said their reach of the core, cause once again, just like with the detective personality, they cannot wake up the core, just be guardians around… what is it going to take? hint…

I mean, her cousin is not around, her father much less, mother is dead, the actress is nowhere near involved, you have to do everything on your own!! move, move, move!!

Thats one of the lovely teachings of Mother Aurora, and what else to react to all those structures than Grandma Aurora, the model for AuAu.

Sometimes I feel Im too incestuous, sometimes…

Nah, is not that much, go inside yourself to find how much of your parents you are, what you thought it was you, its probably them.

The Image shows Reo the core and tells him what goes on, which is basically this, the Intro of Happiness of Marionette.

She was about to destroy everything, including whatever comes to the path. Either the trial is successful and “the machine upgraded” or thats it. The core feels very positive about it, thats why “the good mood” they can feel.

Will he defeat those monsters? he obviously needs some help

Like two more chapters to go in this story, theres the title of the newest one in Eyes Opened Chapter, the first is “Such a Fancy Life”, the second “The Nostalgia of the Old Kingdom”, something about the pigeons… then I get a sponsor audit later this week, meeeeeeeh, so annoying, kind of a big one.

 

About: Reptile Days

So I finally decided to give the proper focus to my, lets say political ideas, and opened a new wp site, yes, another one, for the new side project one of these days will start, wont be classical politics cartoons, cause I dont like to state the obvious, its more of a dark humor thing, something that speak on its own, on its own style, a story by itself, not something left to say, Im not your fucking mother, and if ((you)) didnt care before, ((you)) wont care now, and I couldnt care less, so its more of a celebration of a conquest against the human kind.

… cause I dont like to state the obvious… yeah, the same reason I dont usually draw “realistic” stuff, my eyes are working, why should I care to do the same I can already do? thats why I embrace very “arty” designs, this is something you dont see with your eyes, but with your mind, and I write plenty of physiological this and that, the drawings go the same way.

And the same reason I dont like to take photos, until they die and I wanted to make a drawing later, much later cause theres a pile of projects in the works, then I need to remember…

Im more talking about dead pigeons, but also Lady Josephine died the other day, she was 19, nearly 20, and started to grow a tumor in the upper left of her throat, seems to me like others followed on her chest. I kept pushing on and on for her to keep living, and she did, a sick but good life… you should have put her down Au… how about no? and she wasnt suicidal, she had a sick but good life, and died so slowly that it was, so simple, with his brother was more complicated, cause he had a tumor which became nothing, but a cat flu and kidney failure in Cat Dying Days.

Enough of that, its time to storytell will come, already doing the next chapter. By the way, in the newest stories you see kind of what really happened to Mother Aurora, among other unified core stuff, its called “such a fancy life”, as the Mother telling her daughter “you had such a fancy life”, including all those freaky stuff being functional and not a disease, and those are obviously hereditary, what can it possibly mean?

You know, people want to feel special and pretend they are things they are not, but the real thing is something to be careful about, cause the whole structure can come down very easily, the strength of the body comes with order, you break that somehow and… well, stating the obvious shouldnt be a fashion.

Family Picture:

About: Path of Dolls 09-12

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ ch 09

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ ch 10

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ ch 11

Happiness of Marionette ~Path of Dolls~ ch 12

Lately is been kind of, difficult, its curious to see how just one thing can turn everything upside down, lose our mood and become stale.

The pigeon place is going great, after so many problems with this and that, some have died but those were natural reasons, they breed a lot but also die a lot.

The storytelling is great, now I can draw and write “at the same time”, lots of new stories ready to go, putting everything together, the rhythm, the fun, all pretty good.

But then Josephine starts to die and everything changes, the real problems goes with me not “being able to do anything”

Which is not accurate, from liquid meals to bathroom bed, I keep pushing her on and on, “what part of forced feeding dont you get?!”

The more she goes on, the less violent her death will be, and, the problem, I keep remembering her as normal, and she lives on so I believe is gonna go long.

And then you complain about everything, I shouldnt have spent so much on videogames I play everyday, maybe I should sell one computer… just freaking out about money in general, then you enter some male humor contest you have no chance of winning, I mean, that would solve all my money disabled problems “forever”, but theres only one prize and a thousand more “normal” entries, its like when I wanted to make some theater stuff with miitomo, but everything is lol this and lol that, I mean, fucking braindead piece of shit, I hate people so much… aaahhhh, Im too old and it shows.

Anyway, Im in so Im gonna go all the way and make another or two, you know, of course I have my political ideas, and Im very strong about it, but, ahhggg, being one of this “figures” must be disgusting, unless you really love people or get very well paid, and even then, with the last you just rot yourself in pretentious poison, cause “you always have to be right” and be this moral little… I cant think of anything more boring, its soooo boring, even if its what people attach to, I dont care, Im happy with my two likes a post, and one is mine, I dont care, storytelling is so much better, theres no real limit and you can travel everywhere, you can be the worst, you can be the best, you can be both, or none.

I didnt even talk about the chapters, well, I think the psychological part is not really that complicated, what makes it so is that Aurora is such a freak, hehehe.

Mmm, I wish there was cat diapers.