About: Beautiful Mother 10

So, “Little Commander” was actually Auroras Mother idea for her daughter to be, will she follow through? will destiny provide a path? now that she is alone.

You know, Auroras Mother seems very, mmm, non romantic, and coldish, but, she has seen it all, she doesnt care. From her childhood days, she lived through Grandma Aurora the first, emh, sense of adventure.

The first idea of this drawing was a very, bodily one, but all along this story, as very sexual as they were, the focus wasnt that, so I changed it to something simple yet expressive, there will be a time for sexual stuff, just not today.

So? who wants to be a reeeeeal hippie? In my mind I did traveled a lot to reach there, I enjoy it very much, yet, so difficult, not only the bittersweet emotions, also the reproduction of elements and the theatrical performance, all in my mind, for days I kept staring at gardens, waiting for her to wake up there.

In hunger, thirst, itch and lust
And I…
You think Im joking?
How do you imagine me, without all of, these?

Can you imagine, your true self away from the mold of experience, technology and circumstance? away from blessings and away from the countless sins of humanity across time. Primitive yet pure… eh, pure? I mean, what about the sin of nature? for example, is it even measurable, the psychological consequences of endless starvation? you live to be hungry, how does that shape your mind, from instinct to reason?

Human centric god, nature centric god, alien centric god… I dont know. Hey, even those fucking robots pretending to be a dog, I vomit in blasphemy every time I see those. Meaning of life? I dont know.

The next story will be called “Blood Circles”, which is about Aurora, her father and cousin. The first chapter is almost all written, but I still need some and a couple of drawings, youre gonna love it, its about necromancy… :O   you know, Auish style… did you expect any other reaction from Aurora after the death of her Mother? yes, it is very selfish, yet the passion for it makes a great story.

Worry not, I am completely innocent, a fairy made an evil duplicate of me while I was busy yesterday, and wrote it all, for me :D

The original plan for this remake was, you know, with all the sensuality of her expression… yet, it would make no sense for this story, the perspective is from the eyes of a daughter.

Wanna hear something funny? I still dont understand this drawing… its from the Nun Aurora story, well, I do understand, its about breaking away. I suppress my own urges, so I didnt pay much attention after was done. Lately I just stare at certain spaces and drift away, I want a vacation from everything… meaning a good sleep.

New layout of the site, also made the pages for the other stories. Aurora is all rewritten, Reo will be in some parts, the rest will mostly remain, up to Storytelling Days, which I already rewrote but I want to think about it again. Happiness of Dinosaur and Little Commander are the new written in my mind, and Colors of my Death, is just a placeholder for whatever new comes (much) later, Im not suicidal, worry not, in fact, if there are even more stories, the newer one will be called Colors of my Afterlife, or something.

Ahg, I need a bath, or, should I embrace my… no, no, I need a bath.

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Coffee Drinking 74

Its back, its back, dont know how long it will last.

It was so simple…

Im rearranging the new stories, its gonna be so sweet, and Ill finally be able to finish them.

And so, I discovered, always, yoursiteblabla.com, then add

posts

/wp-admin/edit.php

pages

/wp-admin/edit.php?post_type=page

media

/wp-admin/upload.php

I could have kept it for myself, dont say I dont like you :P

Theres the old dashboard, /wp-admin        but its kind of useless.

Oh, Mr Bunny was a bad Mr Bunny, I already had a serious talk with him and his happy nose.

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A Girl Named Aurora 01 ~Beautiful Mother~ 10

From nature, by nature, you must embrace nature
You must go back in essence and form
Before the sin molded your soul
And your body grew with inward thorns
So long ago, they moved on
Away from the grace at the spark of life
To fool themselves in slavery and shine
The rocks reflected their corrupt shrine
Where they pray for self divine
You must leave them all behind
Escape to the tree so tall it reaches the sky
The ecstasy of liberation
The highest sensory cry
The most tender touch of the goddess
To express love to those who have found
I was conceived at that time

The body painted in colors of the sunshine
Yet under the rain that washes all away
The forest is the home
Walls are for those who fear
Out there to return to the animal self
Happy away from deception
Glad in the world without much past
They mated as they whirled
Under the hills and into the sea
Pouring by the wind

She wanted to stay, to remain
Yet they were born deeply into the sin
She wanted to nest there
And hear from the moon a different tale
Each time she rested after the sun made love to her
Come on now girl, sleep inside…

Well, she will try again and again, remember, I was the oldest
She even took me there, oh, youre so lucky, to not have been born there
You see, the sensory thing, It will make you insane
You have sex with the grass and feel so great
Until the effect is over and so its the party
Yet, so funny, she is the one who felt it for real
So she wanted to stay while every other eventually left
And guess who had to be there?
You know, using their words is after the sin
You know, their beliefs are sinful as well
You knooooow, you must forget the experience of your genes
Polluted with sin, of those who didnt repent
I was an animal with my own mother
You must be, impulsive
In hunger, thirst, itch and lust
And I…
You think Im joking?
How do you imagine me, without all of, these?
I, have a different idea for you
That weird body of yours makes you too proud
Lets see how much is there behind
If you cant carry the world on your back
Maybe Ill finish it before it crushes you alive
From rivers of sweat and endless work
A warrior you shall become.

I wont let you be pity, I wont let you be lame
I wont let you cry to nature, be angry at me instead
I enjoy your hate so much, if you could only express
A burst here and there, yet youre still the same
I push forward, its ridiculous, I feel Im killing you instead
A tantrum with swollen muscles, and you return again
I want you to hate me instead of death
Dont you know I know?! youre just like her!!
You go to the forest, you go to the lake!
You want to bring ducks, you want to live with them!!

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About: Beautiful Mother 07-09

I need to shake the depression from these last couple of chapters, it has taken enough already… theres only one more chapter, but will be on a different light, sad but beautiful.

And finally, the very first story (will be) is finished forever!!!

I didnt change these late drawings much, but Ill live with it. Maybe in the future Ill make another drawing or something, but its pretty much done, after aaaaall these years.

Chapter 07 starts in the depressive and oppressive future, and something that combines with Chapter 09, she is supposed to be a, emh, lets say a predator, yet…

“There is something else” I said
“I know of a star that shines even during the day
Im telling you, this crumbling trench has a thousand shadows that extend
To the ruins of pride, from creation itself”

And well, the obvious consequence…

I bet the joy in the grave will be the envy of the whole cemetery.

Auroras cousin is waaay too difficult to write, because she has her own vocabulary that mixes with a bit of english. Here, and at the rest of the first stories, I decided not to use it, will be done for the Feather Dreams stories.

What happens here, is that Auroras Mother and her brother get in contact again, in their young days it was some sort, of, a hippie commune, and they were too close… eventually their mother was missing, reality kicked in, one remained attached to the family, the other didnt.

So now, they get together to talk, in contrast, they are very, very, very poor. They end up fighting again from the same old things or whatever… in the meantime….

“You and your little girlfriend can meet when you get old
I made a decision and its all”

Noooooooooooooooooo!!!

Aurora tried to rebel, but it was just impossible.

Chapter 08, and the beginning of my late depression and crisis of sense, kind of a dumb thing to happen, but thats me.

You get a sight of Auroras father and his world, oh, and also her crazy rich mother with a ton of connections… I promise sexy drawings of her in the future :D

Worry not, she looks good.

As if the apathy wasnt enough, and I went ultra light with her in this chapter (the story is not about her)… anyway, he plans for the future, to make enough and go live in the shadows, away from her grasp, which is something he starts to do with Auroras Mother, out of plan, and time.

He manipulates and schemes, and he is lucky enough for his administration at the family business to catch very good wind, so he becomes popular in the family circle, as a lucky charm, but also as a, emh, yep, some sort of cold blood, successful leader, nothing that would spoil his vanishing plans though.

Auroras Mother says “conquer her”, yet he loves her, so, he doesnt, bububu. Thats very, very, very sick… but yes, Im a wuss, it is conquest, after all.

You might say, if he wasnt a lone child… but then, what if was a girl? a sister would have been a bomb… its too much already.

Mommy is the best.

And finally, chapter 09, ahhhhggg, Im already tired of writing this.

Aurora is repeating her Mothers words, I am so tired, I didnt change these drawings at all.

Youre gonna be all alone

You see, at this point, Auroras Mother is dying, and she knows what the future awaits.

She sets hard military training, if she survives, she is ready to face life, if she fails, she will be put out of her misery.

Auroras father is exploding, she doesnt think he will last much, one way or another. And I dont feel like going into details, just say theres no one else. Grandma Aurora the first is unreliable, and, its like she already left the world. The other grandma would have executed at sight, well, tried… Auroras uncle is sooooo useless, basically in the stories, he and her wife will only say “oh, thats so difficult”, or “oh, thats so complicated” :(

From Mother to Child
Ill gift you with a kiss and a bless
As you feel deeply when looking at their eyes
With your great strength you are to carry that moment to the next
When it disappears leaving no trace
And youll do it, all alone
Little Commander of the ashes from the realm
War and hatred calls your name
Are you to tell me, would you rather die with me?
Today or tomorrow, dont you know it is the same?
Little Commander, the motherland whispers a tale
How are you going to do it? youre not even ten
Hahahahaha.

Ahhhh, depressive, but I leave you with a cool picture in the making for the next story, “birth certificate in the will”. Some days ago I was having a storytelling half asleep trip in the morning, while listening the “Angel Mother” music I reblogged the same day, and out of nowhere, cause I was dreaming something else completely different, it jumped into my mind.

I have no spirit to draw, but Ill get it out anyway, I need to move on with the stories in order to move on with everything else.

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A Girl Named Aurora 01 ~Beautiful Mother~ 09

Youre gonna be all alone
So in the next few months
Youre gonna grow the years to come
Even if it cost you all
If you cant, might not even be worth
To left behind.

I thought of you at last
As I cut off all other ties
Not that those were much
Its the annoyance to realize
Youre the reason and also the drag
Not that it would change too much otherwise
I guess I am just mad, that I was mad
That was dead but with you it revived
The reality and sense that is at
Youre gonna be all alone
Soon, the day will be empty
Needy, crying, rough
Impatient, noisy, tough
They all will see you with disgust
In the pool of vile and greed
Everpresent with everyone youll see
Youre nothing but their enemy
And you, Im gonna make sure youll be worthy of that
Youre gonna be all alone.


Of him, dont think much, he might not even overcome
He is in a dire situation, as you are, alone
You see, my child, he is about to explode
Relief in the shadows he will find no more
I wouldnt take it personal, cause you know
Right there at war, true colors are to show
You, left behind, are going to be alone
It is natures call
I dont say it in anger nor remorse
They with offer you nothing at all.


From Mother to Child
Blood vanishes in the wind
Their faces dry and peel
Lost in a sense of ill
The sea spreads, the cold lays above
The lines were none, each to their own
There is no going back
To the illusion of once there
Remain still
A stone washed up on the beach
The warm of a birth
Is a game of dolls and casual feel
For the giant overcomes stepping on the worm
Open your eyes and awake your sense of pride
Your cradle is a ghost
The men have gone to war
Might not even return, and if they do
They will go to war again
Attached to this fate.


Your cradle is a chore
The women at your side, none want to take part
You take so much from them
Just breathing that small air
Addicted to the style, they both are
Youre nothing but against, and youre not even ten
The lengths they will go one to abandon and the other to destroy
You have been warned.


From Mother to Child
Ill gift you with a kiss and a bless
As you feel deeply when looking at their eyes
With your great strength you are to carry that moment to the next
When it disappears leaving no trace
And youll do it, all alone
Little Commander of the ashes from the realm
War and hatred calls your name
Are you to tell me, would you rather die with me?
Today or tomorrow, dont you know it is the same?
Little Commander, the motherland whispers a tale
How are you going to do it? youre not even ten
Hahahahaha.

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A Girl Named Aurora 01 ~Beautiful Mother~ 08

-Son, I was talking the other day with.
-No.
-You dont even let me finish.
-Noooo.
-Its just, company.
-No.
-Dont be so ungrateful and hear what I say.
-I dont fall for that anymore.
-Im not sure if you take romance too serious, or not serious at all.
-Nonsense, pitiful womanly worries.
-Well, I do concern, of you being alone.
-Boooring.
-I do love you, you realize that, dont you?
-I still live here, well, sometimes, what more do you want?
-Hear me out, its just company, but beyond that.
-You just want a copy of yourself to… oh, mother, are you in love with me?
-Tell me you are joking.
-I would, but its been so long, with this, insistence.
-Youre not well in the head, alright? is that what you wanted to hear?
-And yet Ive been more successful than you are, and I didnt even want, pfffhahahaha.
-You come after us, never forget that.
-Im just gonna do this for a while and then Im gone forever, Ill have more than enough money then.
-So it all comes down to you being a dumb little hippie.
-Sure, I can quit tomorrow without regret, but then Ill bathe and buy something expensive, hey, Im gonna bathe with it.
-An aristocratic union, and a pretty girl for you to enjoy, smart, funny perhaps, any problem will be solved with the power of both families, you wont have to worry about a thing, ever.
-Sounds like the complete opposite.
-We will talk beforehand, very seriously, shell mind her own business, she will give you space, yet, she is there to support you, she is a partner, you can talk to her about, stuff, whatever, youll make your own team.
-Mmm, funny.
-Whats funny about it?
-Me talking about my absolute disdain for people, like her, for a start.
-Youre just, honest.
-If youre not in love with me, there are places where you cannot go.
-This wont end up well.
-Enjoy the success, thats my present.
-Ill pretend to.
-If you go all the way with me, I hope its genuine.
-That was playful, and many, many years ago.
-I know, worry not.
-Did I, hurt you in some way?
-Hooooooow?
-You tell me.
-Ive been my wonderful self since the very beginning, youve seen that.
-Ok, Im back to normality, I, cannot keep up with this, it gives me a headache.
-Pitiful womanly worries.
-Stop telling your father that.
-I say what I see.
((=Just fuck her already, thats what she wants.
=Nah, thats too troublesome, waaay too troublesome, I wanna sleep comfortable at night.
=She cant help herself, bring her here, Ill help her, relax.
=She would become sooo aggressive, kind of insane.
=All in one, and you just take her, that is how you conquer the world.
=Impossible, I wanna sleep comfortable at night.
=Why dont you take the little freak then? so she can play mommy again.
=She would suicide, and take me with her, besides, she is too, sophisticated, the endless etiquette, thats the way she plays.
=She can break her stuff instead of mine.
=Our little warrior would take it too far.
=One day Ill unleash her to the world.
=By then Ill have bought and developed another persona, far, far away… wanna come?
=If I dont have anything better to do, perhaps.
=Then Ill forget about everything.
=Just fuck her already, real good, doooooooooo it.))
-Its late, good night.
-Hey mom.
-“Mother, I have a question”.
-Do you want me to get you a dog or something?
-No.
-A turtle? what about some bird that talks? that would be perfect.
-Do not.
-Well, I tried, dont say I didnt.
-The highlight of my day, was talking to a baby.
-A successful baby, babe!
-Ahhhgg.
-Hahahahaha.

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A Girl Named Aurora 01 ~Beautiful Mother~ 07

At the haze of defeat, it all seems like bitterness and frustration
The world becomes a capsule of what could barely be sensed
Yet I get excited in the middle of the dread
“What is wrong with you?” the first you asked
After an implosion as large as everything I saw
Cold hands brim with vile, I know the worst
“There is something else” I said
“I know of a star that shines even during the day
Im telling you, this crumbling trench has a thousand shadows that extend
To the ruins of pride, from creation itself”
I bet the joy in the grave will be the envy of the whole cemetery.

Mother Aurora was behaving strangely the past days
Nothing important, but she was doing things normally she wouldnt do
Like, to get it out of the way, so she could focus on, something
From her lips were about to spiral some words into form
Yet, at the end just wont, its, like
She didnt want anyone else to have something to say.


They dont look like us at all, the two large are clumsy
Their clothes radiate a color in disharmony, one after the other
Its like everything is patched together with whatever they could find
And it all tears apart with the vibration of their noisy car
How can someone be like that? I am in mistrust yet Mother still looks
And thinks, as she stares, and she is figuring out what to say
Like trying to do such a delicate touch
Funny how Ive never seen before, and then he goes back to the car
In a blanket he carries, I can barely see, it is, it is
The stars shinning from above
Sleeping during the day
May I awake with a kiss?
Hey, give her to me!!!!!

“We got lost” they say, well yes, it is actually late
They repeat and repeat, they are nervous, a bore to see
As for the treasure, they wouldnt give it to me
But Ill wait, anyway, they are walking towards my reign.


“Leave the kids alone, so we actually talk”
And thats what the boxes of even more wine are for
Sooooo, you want any? I know where everything is
I carried it in…. whaaaaaaaaaaaaa…. so pretty
-Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa… so big.
-Mommy calls me a freak, but thats alright, I can carry you, if you want.
-Roomy big, roomy huge, castle, palace, mmmmountain!!
Im gonna kiss her, she might get angry, and bite me, or something weird, and, and
She likes it, I dont care about me but the result, whatever happens, its so exciting.

“You and your little girlfriend can meet when you get old
I made a decision and its all”
Goddess thunder soared, and of course I blocked the door
Nothing material could pass through the thousand boulders
Yet Goddess called once again in energetic divine tone
Water flooded my feet, wind brushed my skin and hair
I saw everything for what it was and accepted defeat.

-So, what do you think?
-Ouch.
-Not that… should I open the door?
-Dont, know.
-Come back.
-Okey.
-I would give you something, but everything is Mothers.
-You dont have any toys.
-I have plenty to play with.
-Ill tell dad to come back.
-Cool!!!

-Mwoooommyyyy!!! bubububu.
-Shut the fuck up! ahhg!! Im gonna drink some more.

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Angel mother

A great storytelling sound, click play and drift away!!

MichaelAitken

Dad has got a rifle
I’m sure he’ going to shoot someone
Dad has got a rifle
I’m sure he’ going to shoot some one
He watches from a distance
Mr, you had better run

He lives in a cave
He walks about the countryside
He lives in a cave
He walks about the countryside
He’s a perfect shot
With a lot of anger in his eye

Angel mother
Where have you gone to now?
Angel mother
Where have you gone to now?
Even if you’ve gone to heaven
I’ll find you there somehow

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Coffee Drinking 73

Ahhh, the classic editor wont ever come back.

This time with a bunch of sketches of the new drawings.

Ahhhhhhhh… “Au, youre such an idiot”, blabla, I know.

But I really like this frame, yet, now I dont know what to do with it, better said, Im not sure how to continue, it seems like something full colors, strong colors to make them “come alive” but I dont know if it will get boring.

The original title was “A kiss with my beloved”, so I tried again.

Wait, what? no, this is the new drawing for the Identify story at Lucys Works.

Behind her back theres a gun, and theyre looking creepy at you cause youre a mutant, shame on you :(

I have a couple of new ideas for the background, yet still not sure.

A kiss with my… ah, Ill try again. These are for the Feather Dreams story, which is more of a modern, thing, like half of it I have it written in my mind.

In the complex of my mind, I said just go for it. You know, love for me is about systems working, I dont mind much about “human contact”. Why? I dont have an antenna tingling, stuck in my forehead, with its roots in instinct. Spoiler, neither does her… you can place your bets about who is crazier, hehehe. Muuuuchhhiuuuuu.

An extra one cause I felt like it, but Im gonna stop and focus on the stories Im supposed to be doing, as I quickly run out of artistic force when “just drawing”. Also, Im kind of running away from the writing of the last chapters from the “Beautiful Mother” story, ahhhh, I must focus now.

For this one, I want to do some new stuff, like the foam transparency and others.

Mmm, I dont have that many “romantic” songs, Im more into “theatrical”.

Or if you want something more, emh, modern sounding, I guess.

Loves a bully, pushing and shoving, in the belly, of a woman, heavy rhythm, taking over…. hihihihi.

Well, also something else, you know, theatrical.

If god, this and that, hope and light, the end of suffering and slain, the dreadful shadow overcomes, all aspects of life lose meaning as slavery and slaughter continue, leaving a grey survival that may not even last long, but if god… cause I believe in god, he would never let me down.

Then, at a deep end… if god… and I dont have to know why, and I dont need to know how, and I dont want to promise… cause I dont want to lie… I just know I need you, tonight.

===

“He says ~a promise~ and ~a lie~”

Shut up, my version is better!!

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Coffee Drinking 72

Aaaaahhhh, goodbye classic editor, you were full of bugs and obsolete, yet you will be missed, after all these years. I am so annoyed with the new bloated stuff, and I hate the popping menus :(

Mr Bunny in all his nose moving joy. I still cant believe his good moods.

Cube Church time

So, you remember about the park chapel post right?…. of course.

Instead of going to the vegetable supply center by the pigeon home bridge, if you take the opposite way, after crossing another big avenue, the residential zone continues, though it wont reach far before the old industrial zone shows its ugly face.

If any photo looks nice, its just the focus, you lose it a little bit and you wont think the same. Thats what I learned taking these photos.

I told you about the history last time, so I will skip it now. So this architect dared to do more, and he did a pretty good job… yet he died (or something, I dont care much) and his designs were butchered.

The floor mirror fountain looks good here, they moved it to the end of the chapel park, where it looks awful and doesnt work because there is “nothing there”. And you can see the rest of the differences in the photos.

The “Tree Promenade” avenue, they just restore it in a huge scam for a land by the expo center, where theyre building now a tall building I can see from here. So if you want to see Au (probably half naked or more) and the pigeons flying around, the apartments are on presale!!!

That photo is actually leaving, as I forgot to took one arriving, anyway. A couple of blocks and you arrive at a twin concrete park, first, “sisterhood with guatemala city” or something.

Once upon a time there were plaques about friendship with other cities, by now those were probably stolen, there is nothing on the concrete blocks. Lucky me, to see and enjoy old trees, the other highlight of the place are a bunch of tacos stands, I never spend on meat, so it just ruins the walk. I never come anyway.

Someone, in his pitiful existence, though this was a normal park, and placed that power pole riiiight in the middle… thought you dont see power cables, only internet ones, in such a mess.

See? huge difference, its almost cozy now, if you have enough nostalgia, I guess.

Mmm, I need to change a lot, to my defense, I was too busy writing the story. The pizza and the ice cream place are gone, fish tacos took over, and I couldnt care less now.

The school is still there, but I dont think it was there back then.

In the middle of the park, again something guatemala, I know a lot of native story, but not really interested. Did you know that moctezuma wanted to start trade with the spanish? which made them happy as they were just a small expedition force, they were to finally make it back with their arms full of gold… yet the nobles had a different idea, killed their emperor, war broke, viruela spread, you know the rest. That unless you embrace “textbook” history, then have fun with that. This guy here? I have no idea, nor the people who made the graffiti, no those who have used this place as a soccer goal.

What a beauty… forget about everything, see the spaces, think of the mystery it holds, its such a great adventure.

The cube at the left, I forgot what it was for, I think it was for music practice. Next to it is the notary, the main entrance, the bell they dont really use, at least back then. The cross is not at the middle, as it was in the original design, buuuuuuuu.

This is where you stand up and clap, 5 spaces by the building, one at the walkway, another by the trees. Impressive. This is the sweet spot.

To the left, I think it is storage but Im not sure. Left top, mystery. All the low windows inside are high, those are from “the cave” a basement hall. The top rectangles, no idea. The real bells up there!!!

Across the street, theres the weird house Aurora got mad at, couldnt take photos because there was people there, I skipped the other places too, including the left side of the church, with the entrance to the cave, the rooms and the chapel, and also behind the notary, the priest home.

From the left angle. And finally, another sweet spot, though I had to take the picture in a hurry, just behind a couple of days ago, the police or someone killed some thief in strange circumstances… the priest did went to give him the last rites.

I will remake it one day…

Such a natural perfect frame :)

Inside the church theres this large mural, I dont quite like it, would be a great idea if the image was different…

Behind the altar is the chapel, behind the mural the confessionals.

I owe you a better picture… though what for? it was a terrible idea, just look at that center, yuck, and being there makes it worse, laaaaaaame.

I hope you had fun with all the nonsense :)

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