His puberty was me.
And then she blamed me for his weakness
Because he didnt have a struggle to mate
As I grew stronger with the rituals
Such conflict arose that…
For some time I did believe it
Then I buried it, then I stopped caring once seeing
The one that really was born
It was nonsense to feel guilty
But hey, her designs versus mine
Were so, competitive, after all
Though if she said, it was probably true
She got him when a kid but that was in the line of affection
So it was proper, and I used that as an excuse for mine
But then his engine was going
And instead of developing, I took it for my own
And I only, choose, to see what happened, after she was born
So we met but by then, she took that woman
And has that weird kid after him
Theres nothing for me to do anymore
So foolish to regret, anything.
And now those two like each other
Ahhhhhhhhhhh
And theyre so weird
Its probably because of me, of the rituals
I would like to think that they are so dumb and primitive
But I know that theyre, cluelessly ahead
Designed to be so, we would be worthless if they didnt
So even when we know
Were both very, competitive
So we like to ignore it
Theyre idiots without an education
And its not, no, its not
Of my concern, I already told her
To get away from me.
—
-And then, and then, Mother would say
-She talked sleeping, zoooombie!
-Sleeeeeeping! in the after middle of the night, I was already expecting it.
-Ohhhh.
-“Stop bothering me”, and, and, and
-Were you?
-Well, yes, of course, and I was not easy to remove.
-Ohhhh.
-So she gets up, and drags me along, and, “What am I gonna do?”, “The hell I know, out! on your own!”, and, and, you would think it would awake me but, after checking through the door that she went back to sleep, I couldnt think of anything else and slept there where I was too.
-Cool, her, not you.
-Hehehehe.
-Tree with the funny branch!
Twist, twist!
Home, home, home!
The house, the house, house, house!
-Thaaaat, tiiiiny.
-Its the house! theres mom and dads room, and my room, and our stuff, its the house! Down, down.
-Do we even fit there?
-My room, you and I.
-It is a large place, but the building is so small, can you make it bigger or something?
-Down! or Ill push push, down, down, down!
-This is my doll, and these are the hoops, and, there is nothing else.
-Theres trees outside.
-They dont let me play outside, they say Im gonna get lost.
-Ducks, I didnt see any, is there another route?
-No.
-Mmmmmmmmmm, not good.
-Not allowed.
-Mother forbid going to the lake, but, you know.
-No lake.
-Last time I saw a bum, Mother killed it with the car, I thought they were all dead, but then I saw some on the way here.
-No driving too.
-I never tought of that, it didnt even crossed my mind, funny, I dont like cars.
-Dont wear my clothes, youre too big, youre gonna break them.
-That sounds like a good idea.
-No.
-Maybe, perhaps.
-No, mine.
-You can run around naked.
-No!
—
Breakfast, this and that, their own schedule
They do not seem to get, in their tiny way of life
Hours bend to me, not the other way around
Just like Mother taught me and we did
And she, she is too tired to fight me, as I fight them
And their pitiful ways
I mock them, and their servitude to time.
Of course by then Im already awake
And by the time she does, a “baby attack!!” with her doll comes
She only has one, I have none
I never had toys, it doesnt make sense to me
But she likes, and in this poverty ritual
She only has one until it becomes dust
Which doesnt take long with the way she tosses it around
“You can get whatever you want”
Yet she waits for this one to tear apart
Its more, mmm, simple, and simple is better
Though it has to do more with the attachment
To her dumb stupid parents
I cannot stand them
Something is there for me to like
Surrounded by these many things that make me mad
No wonder Mother kicked them out
And I cannot separate them no matter how much I try
Ill support all their vices, all those things I do not like
But away from me, from us
Ill buy the inconvenience for them to disappear
I would do worse without a care, but then
To hate so much what you love
In cold and piercing blood
Though its ridiculous how much advanced she is a version of them
And I dont know what to tell her, nothing really works
“You already spent too much time with them” no
“Just let them be for a while, theyll come back someday” nothing
“Maybe thell make another baby, and they will be busy with that” worse
She is untrickable, she sees through it all and through me
Which, is better, it would be such a bother, having to explain later, my stupidity
I cannot outsmart her, so the only thing above is my strength
Its the only thing I can do to control her
The other day I was so mad, Im already angry
And these couple of older idiots came to harass her
I wasnt there cause I was at the bat
And I fell for that idiot show, I hate it all
I even paid for the stupid balls
I didnt pay attention, that she wasnt with me
And by the time I got there…
I nearly killed them, and I hoped I did, I wanted them dead
Her eyes didnt let me, why? I dont know
Mother and dad wouldnt have stopped me, but she did
And of course some police came to talk to me later, “Hey, baseball star”
“I was at the store, see? Im a veeeery good customer there”
“Have you heard of…?”
“Seems like a dangerous neighbourhood, and Im so small, why dont you take this? I need protection”
If they didnt want to, then someone higher than them would, and would crush them too
Quantity is not an issue, yet this is not something you have to explain to these people
They gladly accepted, its like they were eagerly waiting for it
Later they told her dad, as he works with them though not like them
They were kind of mocking him, and who wouldnt
He doesnt have any nerves, yet he wont go away
Neither her stupid useless mother cooking the forbidden
I throw money at them yet they wont move
I cannot buy them, and I cannot kill them, I cant do anything
I know what happened, Mother went too easy on him
And by now he thinks he can get away with it
“You know so little about the world” worthless
Its like we both say to each other
But whats important, I cannot fool her
So I was honest, about everything
And she said “No”.
Its imposible, oh, and Ive tried so many times
From very young, interested in your forms
I couldnt even imitate, kept asking why
I studied you so much, you reach so deep
Yet I have no idea why nor where
It is like, all designs were made this way
Were too little, we couldnt have created it on our own
And in such a short time, it wasnt us
So… Who made it?
“Out, on your own! I dont wanna see you in a day or more!”
Yet everywhere I go, I am surrounded by you.
==========
AuAu Over 
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