Aurora sat down one day, as she sat every other day, looking for a comfortable position that allowed her to forget, and began to think “if I only did that, if I only was like that, what was the point of doing all those things I did later? and not something when it was important”.
In her calmed dark blue room, in her nonstopping mind, Aurora absorbed all chaos and kept it inside her, leaving a peaceful sight and a silence that covered any trace of what there was, her long foregone life.
“Would I be alive? would I be myself? if I change everything, then I dont feel the happiness, there I dont feel myself, am I supposed to be a set of variables? am I supposed to be my regrets? Ill do anything to break what happened, Ill do anything to say Im sorry, to beg for forgiveness, I would peel my skin and behead myself without any remorse nor expression of pain, but then, I would just be like, lets say, forgotten, again.”
What could it possibly be torturing Aurora? she leads a simple living and shes surrounded by normal people, she has turned her own room into a life support facility that allows her to think, play, laugh, cry, remember, go places and meet people. Everybody around her have always admired her looks, her presence, her smarts and knowledge, her physical and mental strength, as she seems like someone who could do everything she wanted, so it was normal that people got a like of her and tried to get close, hoping that she could succeed and bring them along, she looked to them as someone with the power that could grab and hold all those great things that life has to give.
To all deception, Aurora didnt care about that, why would someone quit life as she did? when you have everything so close? does she have any idea of how difficult making a life is for the rest of people? all the pain and troubles to get a little money that allows you have at least normal dreams and let you be loved, what is wrong with that spoiled kid who believes shes way better and so special?
So Aurora was left alone, to her own pleasure, though she wasnt out of touch, there was people who she constantly saw and apparently talk to. For them to view, she created a somehow socially acceptable image of herself, forged in the armor of a body with the purpose of never let any undesired emotion out. The image did its work, all offensive power was traded for a resistant body that could last enough, many years, so long that Aurora was not be able to count, so out of control that it cracked, leaving painful scars.
Why would Aurora do that? why not just living a nice life? why would she make those unreasonable efforts just to hide? she wouldnt tell, Aurora had tired eyes and difficult breathing that by then passed unnoticed, her leg twitched pointing out, her head and throat hurt, she could feel the pressure in her right eye, she could barely feel her body at times, yet she never said a word.
The strange behavior of Aurora created doubts that the image cleared with a little time, the image was created by her and served its purpose, it lacked of feelings but developed them itself as part of its functions, which was troublesome for Aurora, so eventually she opened her eyes and fixed it, giving the image the same feelings as herself, those were incredibly confusing to the image, so Aurora took it by the hand and explained what she could with love and care, but also a strict discipline that the image had to adapt for itself, the same which she lived by everyday.
Aurora wanted silence, she loved rain cause she though everybody would just stay inside, and then nothing could trouble her. If one could look behind the armor body, one could find Auroras unforgiving mind surrounded by raging desperate emotions, Aurora was trapped and could not move, paralyzed for endless years, only guarded by the armor body and a few thoughts of herself that could mirror in her own shape.